Coming up in 2012, we meet more inspiring working moms and mums!:

• Jeanne Peterson – The girl who refused to accept ‘no’ for an answer. She jumped on a plane twice to interview for the position she created and holds today, Head of Operations at UK based Project Brokers, an expanding global IT consulting firm with her target in mind – to plant her roots in Toronto. She’s now opening up her new office in Canada.

 

• Danielle Curzon – Not your ordinary work mum. British royal, first televised  female referee in the UK’s Mixed Martial Arts circuit, an international titleholder dressage rider, an international champion martial arts competitor, former bodyguard to Emma Watson and other celebrities, survivor of a miraculuous pregnancy with healthy baby girl (the one the medical experts said she’d never have). Need I say more?

 

• Ann LeConey – The much esteemed interior designer dressing up celebrities homes around the world for over 25 years.  She dishes to In Our Shoes on how she began her business from scratch with not 1, not 2, but 3 boys to raise.

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• Malvina Guretsky – The Wall Street A-Lister who was on her way to becoming a Managing Director at Deutsche Bank and walked away to later become a success story mumpreneur in the fashion retail industry.  The interview that answers the pressing question swirling around every women’s media lifestyle channel: Why do women abandon the C-Suite? Living by a man’s play book is not very glamorous we discover.

 

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Work mum Danielle Curzon, Europe’s 1st female MMA referee

In Our Shoes welcomes working mum Danielle Curzon to our female village. Born and bred a British royal (her father is the noble Viscount Scarsdale), Danielle threw off the cloak of aristocracy and today is pursuing her dream in the UK’s Mixed Martial Arts circuit as Europe’s first televised female referee at UCMMA Cage Rage and juggling it all like the rest of us as a single mom with a two year old daughter.

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No stranger to proving oneself, Danielle was an international titleholder dressage rider, an international champion martial arts competitor, former bodyguard to Emma Watson and other celebrities and survivor of a near fatal pregnancy delivering her healthy baby girl (the one the medical experts said she’d never have).

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IOS: Fighter. Competitor. Proving yourself. Fearless. Danielle, these are the first words that came to mind before sitting down with you for this interview. Am I close or way off base here?

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Danielle: I’d say that’s all true. I’ve been riding since I was three years old and was taught very early on to push myself. I grew up with a competitive spirit which was encouraged by my dad who yes is the noble Viscount Scarsdale but I do not follow any aristocratic lifestyle whatsoever today. I was an international dressage rider until I reached the age of 21. I won Horse Of The Year Show, Great Britain’s largest show when I was 9 and won over 20 national showing titles (including side saddle, national title) and then went on to represent the UK’s U21 team. I also competed in America.

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IOS: Is it normal for a young girl that age to be groomed a dressage rider in the UK?

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Danielle: Yes, horse riding is very much the norm and part of the aristocratic way of life. My parents never forced me to do it however. I enjoyed the competition. Later on my mum wanted to me to do something else that would allow me to balance my studies at school and I eventually stopped riding.

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IOS: Your parents divorced early on, tell us about that.

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Danielle: My parents divorced when I was 12 years old. I was really happy about it actually as they were both so unhappy in their marriage. The divorce was a news spectacle. My dad went on to marry a prostitute and my mother married an ex-bank robber! I was the only child and definitely not living a normal life by any stretch. After my parents divorce I learned money doesn’t buy you happiness and wanted nothing to do with the aristocratic life. I was very privileged and lived in a massive home. Today I live in a modest 2 bedroom house and I don’t miss that life whatsoever.

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IOS: What did you do after you stopped riding?

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Danielle: Well, I had started training in martial arts at the age of 12 for self defense. When I quit the horses, I moved martial arts up to my international sport. I fought very competitively and won titles abroad. Martial arts became my second sport. Today I teach anti-rape self defense classes at a university. So many women suffer this sort of thing.

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IOS: What is Mixed Maritial Arts?

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Danielle: MMA is a combination of stand up and ground fighting, Tai and Kick boxing. Often people just see fighters in a cage, but learning MMA is something every woman could benefit from. Alot of it is using the person’s weight against them. I trained in the MMA for 5 years until I was unable to fight competitively due to health problems with my kidneys. So I started working as a bodyguard and became the personal bodyguard to Emma Watson and many other celebrities. I worked the night club doors and was part of the highest qualified security personell in the UK.

 

IOS: You went through a nightmare of a pregnancy. Tell us about it.

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Danielle: Before my daughter Alea was born, I suffered two miscarriages about a year apart and was told I would never have children due to endometriosis. I then miraculously fell pregnant in 2008 and went through a horrendous pregnancy and after only 6 weeks pregnant, I split with Alea’s father. Then problems with my kidneys started; they failed due to eclampsia. A condition in which one or more convulsions occur in a pregnant woman suffering from high blood pressure. I became dehydrated. I was then diagnosed with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) during my pregnancy. At 24 weeks I lost half of my water. I had to be injected with steroids. My daughter was delivered at 31 weeks by emergency C section and weighed only 2lbs 10oz. After having Alea, I then suffered from post natal depression and kept on anti-depressants which was the worst thing ever. I also had to quit fighting and later went into refereeing which is where I am now reffing the UCMMA (Cage Rage) show at the Troxy in London. It was a big setback for me, being unable to fight competitively again.

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IOS: Tell us about your daughter Alea and the challenges of being a mum.

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Danielle: Having Alea was absolutely meant to happen for me. She was a miracle really. Alea is Greek for ‘queen’. So far it’s been the terrible two tantrums. When they look at you and do something and misbehave in public!

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IOS: Will you steer Alea towards any particular direction?

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My mom would like her to go to university. I’d like her to decide her own path. I want to offer her as many opportunities as she can have. I’m a vegetarian, but I allow her to eat meat. Until she’s old enough she can decide on her own if she wishes to stop eating it. I would encourage her, if she turns out to be a competitive person. My dad didn’t push me to do the horses, he gave me the opportunity and I loved the competition. He also took me Bunjee jumping when I was 10 years old which I also loved.

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IOS: What is it like mixing with other mums in the UK given your profession? Do you feel like you fit in?

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Danielle: I go on playdates or the local play centers just like any other mum. At first I wasn’t big on telling women I’m a cage referree. Today I don’t care anymore, it’s the skin I’m comfortable in and if someone doesn’t like it, that’s fine too.

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IOS: Did you have a nanny for Alea?

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Danielle: No, I’ve never had a nanny. My mom lives very close by and is helping me raise Alea. I also have my step sister around whom I’m very close to.

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IOS: What made you decide to go back to work after having Alea?.

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Danielle: The UK make it is less appealing for mothers to go back to work after having children compared to the States. I work 16 hours a week. If I went back to work full time, after weighing out the child care costs I would lose the tax credit. Also, working full time meant not spending enough time with my daughter. It’s not financial viable by the time you do the math. Day care costs 40 pounds a day. It still doesn’t pay. On the other hand, I cannot be a stay at home mom. I needed to find me as a person again after having Alea. I’m able to do that with my career at MMA which is on weekends.

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It was very difficult at first for me to get the balance of work training and spending time with Alea. My mom would often remind me that I wasn’t spending enough time with her. So I changed my schedule. I’m with her during the week days. It’s a part time job at Cage. I am also a NVQ assessor for security at Oxford University; I screen candidates. I work weekends reffing and the rest of the time I’m with my little girl.

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IOS: What is your view of working mothers in America?

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Danielle: I’m intrigued by them. Americans seem to have a stronger work ethic. The British look up to Americans really. It has crossed my mind many times to move there. My dream is to make it into the UFC.

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IOS: Tell us about your career at Cage Rage. You’re the first televised female referee for the largest MMA show in the UK. How did that happen?

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Danielle: Reffing for the Cage Rage has been the highlight of my career so far. I had started working in the smaller shows. Then I got a phone call to judge the White Collar UCMMA from fight promoter Dave O’Donnell. From there he said I could referee while I was in the cage. It was a bit of a horrible time for me leading up the next UCMMA Cage Rage because I wasn’t clear on whether they were going to use me permanently. Then I got the phone call that I was a part of the team. All of the guys welcomed me to the family. It meant so much. It was truly a special moment. I have moved up the sky card. The whole of the cage rage welcomed me with open arms. I owe so much to Dave O’Donnell for believing in me and giving me my big break.

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IOS: What do you think when you watch yourself on TV?

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Danielle: When I watch myself, I look to see where I’ve made mistakes. Last night was a big night! I reffed Ben Smith, so I’ll be watching that again.

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IOS: What’s next for you?

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Danielle: My dream is to become a referee in the UFC. I have the greatest respect for Kim Winslow, the first female ref in the UFC. There’s only a handful of women in the MMA, I hope to promote them now that we’ve gotten maximum exposure on Cage Rage. Hopefully that’s what’s next for me.

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IOS: What would you tell people who think you were chosen because of your royal family ties? You would certainly bring lots of media attention to the show.

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Danielle: I have never once told anyone about my nobility. I was kind of embarrassed about it because I didn’t want people thinking I was a snob, especially Dave O’Donnell. Once I was televised however, I thought it’s all going to come out anyway into the mainstream media. Noone guessed that I was from that background. My life story is so bizarre, why would they?

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IOS: What are the challenges of reffing?

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Danielle: Every referee looks for the safety of the fighters, knowing when is the correct time to stop the fight: – too early or too late. Getting that balance right, letting the fighters have a chance to defend themselves and not getting injured. Reffing involves making sure there are no illegal moves, kicking to the groin, gouging of the eyes. That maternal instinct does kick in when someone is in your care who may not be able to walk out of the cage. I’m still learning and have made mistakes by stopping a fight a little too early or too late.

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IOS: What is the best piece of advice you would give IOS readers who want to go after the dream they’re after?

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Danielle: Persevere and find the right balance. You will find your own way.You’ve got to be happy just as we teach our children. Don’t put your dreams on hold.

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Have a question for Danielle? Reach out and I will be sure your e-mail is answered!

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What I love about Danielle’s story is that although she belongs to royal lineage that could have potentially opened any door for her, in the end it was her fearless spirit that led her to achieving the dream she was after. She’s also giving back by teaching women how to defend themselves and hopes to break the barrier for women in what traditionally has been a male dominated arena. Danielle has her sights on America’s UFC, we hope Kim Winslow is listening! Cheering you on Danielle and many thanks to you for sharing your story with us at In Our Shoes. Danielle is currently writing an autobiography. My feeling is that she has quite a few more unwritten chapters to go! I look forward to hearing what’s next.

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Jeanne Peterson has broken all barriers when it comes to realizing the personal and professional life she wanted. Read on for her powerful interview where she dishes on how

hitting the glass ceiling early on in her career ignited her to “throw away the paradigm“

and start living by her own rules. You’ll learn how she hopped a flight twice from her home in Denmark to London to interview for a position at global IT consulting firm Project Brokers that didn’t exist, reversed roles with her husband and morphed into the sole breadwinner for her family. On a mission, Jeanne wanted to move from Europe and live in Toronto near her parents. One year later, she’s now opening up her new office in Canada. Her career should be a case study highlighting that not just academics can get us to where we want to be, but also an

unyielding dogged faith in yourself when the voices in your head scream self-doubt.

My favorite quote from our interview: “Women can and do achieve much more than men. They are always more open to ideas”.

Welcome Jeanne, it’s an honour to have you here @ In Our Shoes

You have an incredible career track record, when did it all start?

I’m originally from Singapore. I graduated from The National University of Singapore with a Bachelor of Business Administration degree. There I made the deans list and ranked one of the Top 50 in the Honours class. This was a turning point of my life because landing the best jobs in Singapore are strictly based on merit. If you end up in the Honours class, you automatically get the top tier positions which are the government civil service jobs.

What top notch job awaits a college grad whiz in Singapore?

A really scary one! I was made a manager straight away. I was given a department of 22 people to oversee and I was terrified. There were no textbooks to prepare you for this role when you were in college. Crying in my cubicle was not beneath me! This definitely started me on the path of management. I was fortunate though. I had a great team of bright college grads working for me who actually shared the same degree as I did; they just hadn’t made honours. The political system in Singapore is very dominant.

How did you manage a large department without any experience?

I found a few good mentors in the management team. I developed a close knit group of friends to hang out with; we’d eat and work together and ultimately coach one another.

What was the best piece of advice you received when being mentored?

Believe it or not, memorization! I was advised, the only way I would survive was to memorize everything that I needed to know. I was in charge of retail management of all the shops and restaurants in the airport. I memorized how big each shop was, how much money each earned, how many people worked there. The bosses would give us pop quizzes all of the time. If the boss asked you whether something was done and it wasn’t, you looked him straight in the eye and said “Yes” and then scurried back to do it! You just lied. This training created a good mindset. It was methodical, well thought out and well structured. It was great experience I would carry with me in my career.

You hit a Glass Ceiling. What did you do?

I had worked there for three and a half years. The next logical step-up for me was to be promoted to manager. When I approached the senior bosses however, they unveiled a disappointing career path for me. They explained that because I hadn’t made scholar level in my honours class when I graduated (I ranked on the honours low end), it would basically take 10 years for me to make manager. This wasn’t fair or acceptable to me especially after having a few years under my belt proving myself. I wasn’t happy and I knew I would never fit the mold. In Singapore stepping out of rank is not expected and goes against you socially and career wise. I had no choice but to get out of the public sector.

You were iced out by office politics. What was your next move?

I stuck to property management and went to work for Suntec City Development as a marketing executive. Suntec is located in the center of the city at Marina Centre. It is the largest shopping center in Singapore – holding 1.5 million square feet of shopping space. In the three and half years I worked there I was promoted to assistant manager and did a lot of shopping! I was always broke.

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I called ten to twenty people a day, negotiating ½ million square feet. My team would cut the leases. This is where I learned the power of interaction and talking with people – the social part of it that is. I did my rounds, said hello to all of my tenants; I made sure they were kept happy. It was also there that I met my husband Paul.

 

The husband who coached you on how to land your dream job!

Yes and he’s an amazing coach! He was a currency trader at the time who made alot of people, alot of money. At first I thought he fit the trader stereotype who smoked and boozed. Turns out, he wasn’t at all what he seemed. We dated, he went to church with me and did that for two and a half years. He was the first man whom I said would marry.

You married a Dane, so you learned Danish?

We married and I moved to Denmark where in order to get a job, you have to be fluent in Danish. Needless to say, I had to spend a year learning Danish which I did and I learned it well. I earned a specialized diploma in Computer Science there at a business college and began a career in software development. I dropped off the face of the earth for two years doing pure C++ programming!

 

Tell us about when you had your children.

When my first daughter Maria was born, I put my career on hold. Paul was the primary wage earner. I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere at my job because they wanted you to do your time until 7pm each day. Later, I found another job at a shipping company with flex time. Denmark is a maritime country. I worked for the Clipper group for three years as an IT governance manager.

Now you have two children and you went for the MBA. Why take on more?

I felt there were gaps in my knowledge in management. The company was willing to invest in me by paying for my degree. So I enrolled in an online university degree based out of England which fit my schedule well because I had my second daughter then and she basically slept all day.

Studying for an MBA helped me to think strategically.

I found I could apply it not just in business but also in my personal life. In the online program I was exposed to the diversity of women from other nationalities who were able to expand their horizons. I was studying online with an amazing woman stuck in an aircraft carrier who was doing her MBA! This experience showed me that I was capable of so much more. The only person holding myself back was myself. After starting my MBA (I’m still juggling it) , working in Denmark and living in an open society, I saw there was so much space to grow. After another year off with my second child, I went into business development mastering Qlikview as part of a corporate stategy and business intelligence project.

You were then considered “Elite status”!

Yes! I remember thinking: “Am I elite?!” I was head hunted for by PricewaterhouseCoopers. They were wooed me saying I was part of an elite rank of professionals that they wanted on their team. They found me through my Linkedin profile. I took the position and landed an exciting project focused on IT strategy building a large scale solution for a Qlikview Enterprise implementation. I was the lead technical architect on data modeling and optimization.

You then became the only breadwinner?

Yes, this was a major turning point for our family because Paul had enough of the banking industry and quit the rat race to take up a new career in life coaching. Suddenly his income stopped and I was now the primary wage earner. It was a new phase of his life. All of this time his career had come first and I had supported that because he was the prime income earner. His decision to step back was an opportunity because now it was my turn.

He became the stay at home dad and I was released from my primary role as mother and wife.

He showed me that inner happiness is something you have to be selfish about. Paul was building his coaching career. He changed himself. Inner self change altered how he perceived life as a whole. He made a lot of money for a lot of rich people that were never satisfied. Why make money for a bunch of greedy guys? After one of his clients died of a heart attack he decided he didn’t want to end up like them.

How did you afford the income cut?

Paul was making 5 times what he earns now. We downsized in every way. We sold our house, we bought a small apartment, we bought a smaller car. When he was working in the banking industry the kids never saw him. Now they adore him and the closeness of family. There’s no price tag you can put on daddy being home all of the time, but it didn’t come easy. It’s heavily frowned upon in Denmark for a couple to reverse roles as we did. I’m now supporting the family and he’s taking care of the kids. We weathered it and ignored the disapproving comments and down stares from our neighbors. I was making my own rules.

How did you make your own rules?

I had worked twenty years and discovered lesson # 1 is that you make your own future. It’s not what other people define. Waiting for your bosses to promote you, closing your eyes and hoping for the best is not empowering because delivering your best performance is not always enough. There are factors which come into play that have absolutely nothing to do with you or your best work.

I became aggressive wanting to defend my family, protect my revenue and still be happy.

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I decided that PwC was too small for me to realize my ambitions. I can do better than this. Paul coached me on how to throw the paradigm away and ask myself: “What is it that I want to do?” After deciding this, the next logical question was: “Great, now how do I get that? He was coaching me hard. Without Paul’s support I wouldn’t have dared to go for the job at Project Brokers.

The bold interview we’ve been waiting for – tell us all about it!

Yes it was bold! I went on the offensive. My family lives in Toronto. I live in Denmark. I had to find a job that matched the move I wanted to make to get to Canada. I was now my own boss, I just had to find the right company.

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I had been following Project Brokers for about two years on Linked in, they showed the most growth and potential in the Qlikview space which was my expertise. I got in touch with the HR manager at Project Brokers and told her that I was looking for an opportunity for international travel and threw the line out. They were a new organization and they needed someone like me who had a wealth of strategic and management experience under my belt. I prepped for the interview and flew down to London. I met with the CFO, sat down with him and said “I want to help you guys open a new company in in Canada which is a ripe open market to jump into“. Canada has never been through a recession and there are no real enterprise solution providers. There are mainly a lot of mom and pop shops.

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Project Brokers was left with the idea but not with any plan of action. I kept the idea open and warm and remained in contact but hadn’t heard back. So I flew down to London again and made my pitch a second time. This time I met with the major decision makers: the founder, the COO and CFO once more. I pitched that I can lead their strategic positioning and make their firm more robust by allowing them to expand efficiency and be scalable.

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They called me a black swan, an unseen opportunity that they could not ignore.

Daren Cox, the founder of Project Brokers said: “I didn’t expect this“. I was what they needed at that time. They were expanding and needed a structural framework on which to rest the organization on, in an efficient manner. They offered me the job as Head of Operations and committed to opening an office in Toronto by 2012 which is what I’m doing today!

You live in Denmark, the office is in London. How did you make it work?

I commute from Denmark by train and work two days in London. The rest of the time I’m in Copenhagen at home on the phone with the Head of infrastructure and Head of Sales and Delivery in the US. Project Brokers is a prime example of working across borders. They are an innovative

company willing to break the norms for women and are absolutely unique in Europe..

What is your perception of working mothers in Europe?

I think a lot of mothers are at a disadvantage because they leave their careers to stay home until their kids are four or five years old. They lose the opportunity to come back to the working world. Family life is a huge factor. The reason I chose to return back to work was because I was able to get home by 3pm. I know several women in the UK office that are the breadwinners but I also know mothers who stay home due to the high price of daycare in the UK.

 

You’re very driven. What would you say to someone who pushes themselves too hard?

I am driven, but I was my own worst enemy also. I had to get my ambitions in check. I couldn’t let go of the role of being a mother and a wife due in large part to my childhood being raised in Singapore.

I was brought up to take care of men. My mom would get my dad a glass of water whenever he was thirsty.

The lock in my head was a self imposed lock.

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Women can and do achieve much more than men. They are always more open to ideas.

I saw the difference between men and women managers early on in my career. I would have had to step on a lot of toes to get ahead in management if I stayed in Singapore. I was able to do a much better job than my bosses there. When I was told that I would have to wait ten years only to watch someone else who was less competent than me take the position I earned, it was a true epiphany. I’m an overachiever. I can do my job well, all that was holding me back was perceptions of people around me and my own perceptions. The final reversal of roles between Paul and I, made me realize my own potential. Why not go for it? I wanted to go to Canada, so I made my own rules.

Advice for In Our Shoes Readers

Believe in yourself and what you are doing and most of all have faith.

As women we often have self-doubt. We ask ourselves, “Am I insane?“

I never doubted that I could do it. My confidence in knowing what I wanted, shone through when I made my pitch to Project Brokers.

• Learn about the job you want.
• Be an expert.
• Show your specialty skills.
• Focus on what drives employers to seek employees.

If you do the time, you will become the expert in what you want to excel in. Always believe in yourself and don’t listen to anyone but yourself; sometimes that includes family and friends. Know the person that you are and go for it.

Quirky fact you want to share with In Our Shoes Readers as the giant mommy juggler that you are?

The fact that I’m a successful career woman doesn’t exclude the fact that I still have to wash dishes at home!

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To reach out to life coach Paul Peterson for any advice on working the same life changing magic in your life, you can drop him a line here: LifeCoach@InRShoes.com. Questions for Jeanne Peterson? Open up the conversation here!

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Subscribe here to In Our Shoes.

 

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Readers, please welcome our next guest here to our empowering female village: Malvina Guretsky (aka “MAG”),

 

A former Wall Street A-lister who walked away from a lucrative executive career at investment giant Deutsche Bank to become a mumpreneur.

She was one of only eight women selected from her division to gain entry into a leadership program that would fast track her to the C-suite as a Managing Director. Entering an intense coaching program, she was prepped with all of the tools and resources she would need to run the company, leaving colleagues in bewilderment when she resigned.

 

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Why would she take the off-ramp at the very height of her career?

 

The short answer Malvina Guretsky reveals:

 

“The higher I climbed in my career, the further I lost my identity.”

 

Co-breadwinner with her husband providing for their three children, Malvina Guretsky confesses she had no answer to the obvious question from concerned family and friends: “So what’s next?”

 

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Malvina’s next move was completely unexpected, leading her to the fashion retail industry. This Mother’s Day, she will be opening completely new doors – those of her new boutique MAG Tricotes, launching a unique hand-knitted clothing line designed for women and little girls. She has also caught the attention of Martha Stewart and appeared live making her unique fashion statement on the The Female Entrepreneur show taped April 4, 2011!

 

 

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Do superstar women at the top of their game abandon their career to spend more time with their families?

They would, when they no longer recognize their reflection staring at them in the mirror, Guretsky’s story reveals. This In Our Shoes interview captures dream shoes in the making; we’re honored to have Malvina Guretsky here with us to share her success stories!

 

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IN OUR SHOES: Malvina, welcome to In Our Shoes! I will start by saying that your story reads like a bestseller off the fiction shelf! First, tell us a bit about your background.

 

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MAG: Thanks so much. I was born in the Ukraine and came to the US shortly after my seventeenth birthday with only a few hundred dollars in my pocket. I picked up English in nine months and received a full academic college scholarship to NYU in their computer science and math program. I later entered the financial services industry, building proprietary order routing systems across US trading floors for brokerage firms.

 

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IN OUR SHOES: Your last career move was accepting a Director level position at Deutsche Bank Global Equities Division. Did you ever have any doubts about whether you would succeed in that new role?

 

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MAG: I never had doubts. I knew that the role would come with many unknowns and would be a challenge given its global presence. I had just left a position at a brokerage firm where there was no real challenge left for me. I had moved up and sideways and still there was no change. I was ready for something new and exciting.

 

 

 

IN OUR SHOES: Although a veteran in the financial services industry, this was a very senior role with far more reach than you had in your career thus far. How did you approach stepping into these shoes?

 

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MAG: From my observation, a woman would take a more structured approach to the decision-making process; she would get actively involved in every intricate detail of every task being handled by her team. I was no exception to that rule – I first spent a lot of time with my internal teams as well as with my clients, understanding and often experiencing firsthand their challenges and frustrations. I then analyzed the data collected, and only then I proceeded to make executive decisions. Granted sometimes this approach takes considerably more time than simply directing, yet I believe in the end it yields better results.

 

A good friend of mine once told me that the best leaders are those who know the strengths and daily tasks of their employees, two levels down. He believed that if every corporation were run like that, the results would be astounding. I have tested this theory and I am now a firm believer that it works.

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IN OUR SHOES: Talk to us about failure. Were you scared to fail?

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MAG: A close friend coached me early on and gave me a great advice. He said that it’s okay to be nervous, but not to be scared. I never forgot that.

A failure is commonly defined as lack of success. I simply define it as a valuable lesson learned. We can all learn from our mistakes and change direction, which is not the same as failure.

IN OUR SHOES: Step us into the shoes of a Director of Global Equities at a leading investment bank. What is it like?

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MAG: Honestly, I’ll admit it was glamorous at first. I was traveling on business one to three weeks a month jetting between North America, Europe and Asia. The money was great and I was being challenged once again. Things however began to change for me when I was selected for a leadership program, which would promote me to a Managing Director.

The game had changed to something I had not been exposed to before. I was being prepped to be a master at navigating the corporate landscape to survive, watching my back at every turn, and essentially being groomed to win by a man’s playbook.

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IN OUR SHOES: What was the primary reason that led you to resign? That’s a lot of traveling for a mom with three kids at home. If the travel had been eliminated, would you have stayed?

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MAG: I would love to sit here and give you the socially acceptable answer admitting to missing my kids. The travel was absolutely grueling after a while and I did miss them, but it wasn’t the driver behind my decision to leave. The corporate game I learned to play and liked too much was changing me into someone I no longer recognized. I questioned who I was every day, and worse, I soon found myself playing this game at home. I could no longer distinguish between my identity at work and at home.

The money was excellent and my role was esteemed, but it pulled me away from the person I was.

IN OUR SHOES: What was the reaction of senior management at Deutsche Bank when you submitted your resignation?

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MAG: They were hands down shocked and in disbelief. They heavily hinted on more than one occasion at throwing more money at me to change my mind. I wasn’t surprised. Managers often use this easy approach, assuming that would be a quick solution to any problem.

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IN OUR SHOES: What did you do once you found yourself in the shoes of a stay-at-home mom?

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MAG: I absolutely loved being a stay-at-home mom and being with my kids! I embraced it all. I turned the house upside down and took on home makeover projects! I registered my kids in extra curricular activities, started driving them around, getting to know them, their teachers, my neighbors – all the things I hadn’t had the time to do before. I grew a large organic garden and began harvesting vegetables. I spent time with friends and family and just kept myself busy.

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IN OUR SHOES: It must have been a sharp change for you to suddenly be on a soccer mom schedule. You created a clothing line after only four months of being at home as a full time mom!

 

MAG: My intention after leaving Wall Street was to give myself enough time to focus on the next step. It just turned out that the next step for me was something that I had been passionate about my entire life – that is fashion and couture knitwear. The second I picked up an old pair of knitting needles, I knew that was it. I also had a clear vision for my store – a vision of a small boutique that felt like home, where each garment was lovingly made by hand, where every piece reflected the skill of the designer and the artisan, where the fabric would be so soft, one just couldn’t help but want to touch it, where the cut was so classy and design so timeless, one never had to worry about trends, where the client actually had a say in the final product. I started networking, designing, selecting fibers and colors, hiring professionals in order to grow my new business venture: a hand-knitted couture clothing line for women and babies. Four months later, I had filed to incorporate MAG Tricotes.

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IN OUR SHOES: Talk to us about the loss of your income. That must have been a substantial cut for a family of five given an established quality of life.

 

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MAG: It was a financial setback we were ready for.

 

My husband and I were prepared to downsize and sell our house, if necessary.

 

Lack of money doesn’t scare me. We have always lived within our means, no matter what those means were. We never carried any debt. After I had resigned, we made some adjustments to our lifestyle. I no longer needed to turnover my wardrobe every month. We no longer had a need for a live-in nanny. Seeing how my kids loved having me at home really shifted my priorities.

 

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Anyone can afford to quit the job to pursue one’s dream. We’re allowed to wake up one day and choose to be happy at work. What’s more important? My cousin graduated from Columbia University in the top 3% of her class. She had every lucrative job offer you can imagine. Instead she chose to become a park ranger in New York City. A great day for her is when she rescues a baby eagle that falls from its nest! Now that’s inspiring!

 

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IN OUR SHOES: Did your friends and family support your decision to resign?

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MAG: My mother was devastated. I’m her only child; she was extremely proud of me and was always bragging to everyone about my career success. She didn’t take the news well and was worried about how we were going to adjust with only one source of income for the foreseeable future.

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IN OUR SHOES: Malvina, you’ve achieved success working in Corporate America. Now you are venturing out on your own starting your own clothing line. Tell us some things that you want people to know about your approach to success.

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MAG:

 

I do not take no for an answer. When people tell me that I cannot do something, I just smile. I embrace every new challenge with open arms..

 

IN OUR SHOES: Tell us three things that your closest friends would be shocked to know about you.

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MAG: I am very open with those who are close to me, thus I’m afraid I can only come up with a couple of facts, if any. My friends would probably not believe this, but I am a 100% true blooded introvert. That’s not to say I’m anti-social. I just don’t enjoy small talk and empty chatter. When I have to go to a social event, I thank G-d when it’s over and I can go home and put my feet up. Introverts tend to engage in one long meaningful conversation – and that is what I enjoy most of all. The second little secret is that I was a pretty good rifle shooter for ten years in the Ukraine, earning second prize at a National competition. I’m also a control freak and a perfectionist – but I don’t think it’s a big secret.

 

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IN OUR SHOES: Tell us about the challenges you faced as you started MAG Tricotes?

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MAG: I can count on one hand the things I knew about starting my own business. I knew how to knit. I knew how to find the right people. I knew how to select fine fibers. I knew how to get people together for a common goal. That was it.

You don’t know what you don’t know. I didn’t know how to price my garments. I didn’t know how to track inventory. I didn’t know how to scan the tags or what search engine optimization was all about. The list goes on and on. Guess what? Today I know how to do all of those things. I am sure tomorrow yet another unknown will come up, and I am sure that I will overcome that challenge, too.

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IN OUR SHOES: Malvina, you appear to be a restless soul. Is that a true statement?

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MAG: Yes, I am absolutely restless. I am restless in my determination. As a perfectionist, I am constantly second-guessing: “Did I do it right? Could I have done it better?” I am never content with what I’ve achieved, I always want to do better.

 

Us women tend to be our own toughest judges. We often carry self-doubt on our shoulders, and second-guess our actions. Our goal is to always jump better. Men, on the other hand, always want to jump higher.

IN OUR SHOES: What led you to start a business striding such foreign territory without prior skills or experience working in the fashion retail industry?

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MAG: The career I had was admittedly glamorous given the money and travel. There was nothing more satisfying than my work.

 

The price I paid for that first class seat however was with my precious family time. It was simply time to shift my priorities and start something new.

 

The most important qualities I possess are: my passion, my impeccable customer service skills, my ability to find the right people for the right job, and a healthy belief in myself. The rest can be learned.

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IN OUR SHOES: Where do you see the future of MAG Tricotes? Tell us about your dream shoes.

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MAG: I see myself extending into home and ladies accessories such as crocheted purses and hats, hand knit cashmere covers for pillows and sofas. I’m also envisioning four more stores located in Greenwich, Manhattan, Beverly Hills and Aspen.

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IN OUR SHOES: Switching gears, as you know In Our Shoes also takes a stand for supporting career women in the UK. What is your perception of career women in London given your frequent travel there for Deutsche Bank?

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MAG: Working for many months in Europe, I discovered that a British woman’s lifestyle appeared to be more traditional than that of an American career woman. I saw how natural, and almost expected, it was for a career woman in London to call it quits and stay home after having a baby.

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IN OUR SHOES: What advice would you share with women who want to go after their dream shoes but are battling the economy’s pressures or are single moms?

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MAG: There will always be various pressures and challenges in life. There are some people who will wake up and say: “Today it’s not sunny, so I won’t do this” or “911 just happened, I can’t do it now.” We can only worry about things that are in our control, the rest are either obstacles to overcome, or simple excuses.

 

Living your life means just that: living your life. We only have one. Know what you want and go for it.

 

It’s better to look back and say “I tried and had a good run” rather than “I should have tried it and now I will never know.”

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IN OUR SHOES: Why did you choose In Our Shoes as the platform to host your first interview?

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MAG: I like working with people whom I can trust and I know I could trust you and your work here. I love inspiring other women AND being inspired by them.

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IN OUR SHOES: You are about to open your boutique in Scarsdale, NY on Mother’s day. Do you have any doubts about its success?

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MAG: My experience, my passion, and my intuition will lead it to success. I am nervous, but not worried. I just know:

 

If you want to succeed at something you have to wave away any fear of failure.

What inspiring advice. What we love about Malvina’s story is how she outgrew the corporate career shoes that no longer fit with her family life to pursue a lifelong passion with an optimistic spirit.

It also answers the pressing question swirling around every women’s lifestyle media channel: Why do women abandon the C-suite?

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Malvina’s label, MAG Tricotes (tricoter: “to knit”, in French) is a creative play on her initials (Alexandrovna is her middle name). This spring season Malvina Guretsky opens the doors to her luxury boutique in Scarsdale, NY. In her boutique she created an intimate environment, which allows Malvina to provide an unsurpassed personalized shopping experience to each and every client. MAG’ high-end, unique hand knitted and crocheted clothing line for sophisticated women and little girls delivers high end fashion with MAGnificent flair.

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You can visit MAG Tricotes boutique at 120 Christie Place Scarsdale, NY 10583 and online to preview the MAG luxury line of unique designer pieces at http://www.MAGTricotes.com.

: http://www.facebook.com/MAGTricotes.

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Mom Inspired Success, meet Chini Perera-Lunemann

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There are some women whom I’ll meet only once, yet find they’ve left a large enough footprint behind to have me thinking: “Hmmm…I want to follow her!”. This was just what crossed my mind as I waited for Chinthani Perera-Lunemann (Chini) this summer in an Upper West Side Irish pub which we had selected for our interview.

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Let’s just say Chini’s the kind of gal who will sit you down on first meet and dive in with: “Now listen here…!” whilst waving a waitress down for a glass of wine before kicking the conversation up a notch. UK mom of twin 6 year old boys whom she almost lost to TTTS (Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome), Chini shared the nightmare she and her husband faced when fighting for their babies’ survival while in utero. I had never heard of this syndrome before, yet I thought if anyone could get through that ordeal, this was the woman the universe would choose to overcome it – she was a survivor.

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Today Chinthani Perera-Lunemann (Chini) is an assertive advocate of and partner with TAMBA – Twins and Multiple Births Association located in the UK. She has kicked off fundraisers and generously donated her time to the cause by making it her mission to support mothers around the world suffering through this high risk pregnancy. Hearing her story, I was floored by how this exotic petite and incredibly magnetic personality held two fetuses leaning on her spine for many months (forget the big belly, pregnancy is all about back problems), braved every pregnant woman’s worst nightmare (baby complications) and spun it around to become the successful work at home mom she is today. What started as a charitable hobby turned into far more than she ever imagined.

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Ladies, I introduce you to an empowering woman: Chinthani Perera-Lunemann founder of Manhattan based Mom to Moms Advisors - who is placing trusted childcare specializing in multiple births inside homes of families across continents (North America, the Middle East, Europe and Australia).

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Originally from Sri Lanka, Chini proudly shared her country owned the world’s first female Prime Minister. I thought: “Now this is what women are made of, sharing eachother’s success stories.“; I loved that she opened with this inspiring female tidbit.

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How do you manage to work from home with twin 6 year old boys?!

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I may work from home, but I keep office hours. I choose which days I want to work and set the clock boundaries (10 to 4) no matter what. I also fit my schedule around their activities. I work many early mornings, waking up before them as well as nights and squeeze in as much time as possible when they’re in school. When the boys are home and try to pull me away, I remind them “Mommy is not your playmate!”. I teach them to play independently; One day this will make a difference when they’re older.

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Did you have any experience in childcare before launching Mom to Moms Advisors?

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Growing up, my family has always been surrounded with nannies and domestic help from butlers and chauffers, to grounds keepers. I myself had a British nanny when I had my boys and have always been the go-to person for friends looking for trusted caregivers and advice when selecting a nanny. Professionally speaking I worked in a completely separate field as a financial executive in the investment banking world while in the UK.

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What started out as a natural desire to support other women, turned into something I could work at professionally. Had I not had my boys and been through TTTS while carrying them, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Today 90 % of my clients have twins. I always say it all started with my twins!

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How did you market yourself when launching Mom to Moms?

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I embraced Social Media, it really does work! I Facebook-ed it, twittered, did Linked In, shared my story by blogging. Skype was and is very big for me. I use it to reach out and network as well as support other moms all the time.

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Tell us, what was your husband’s take on this endeavor when you first started out?

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This was definitely a shift away from what my husband was used to, being raised in Germany, nannies just didn’t exist there. Most of his friends’ wives are very intelligent and had college degrees under their belts. Yet after kids, they all just stopped working. So of course it was natural for us to talk about why I wasn’t following that charted path, especially considering what I had on my plate with the boys and after what we went through back home in London. As in any supportive marriage, we got through it and today he supports me. Together we had faced TTTF, so there was no question of my giveback to the cause which through my many childcare referrals later led to the start of Mom to Mom’s Advisors.

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Tell us about your friendships and how you make time for a social life living in New York’s ‘Concrete Jungle’.

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If you want the time, you make the time. I have dinner parties, I love cooking and wearing my domestic shoes; I”ll often throw mom’s night-in soirees and try to glam it up a little. One piece of advice my mother always reminded me of while growing up: “Keep up your friendships! Don’t ever let them go.” and to this day I never have.

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Is there any woman role model that you admire today?

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You know I wasn’t raised with many women role models. My father and his brothers were always the strong figures in my life. However today, I’d absolutely choose Hillary Clinton. Now there’s a woman who looked beyond the trees and saw the bigger picture. She stuck through her marriage because she knew that as a partnership they would go further despite the stigma of her husband’s infidelity. It took a lot of guts to do that.

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Key words of wisdom for In Our Shoes readers?

Surround yourself with people who believe in you. The attractive force and energy is astonishing. Follow your passion and find a way to make it work. Hire help. Challenge yourself. Work from home in the evenings and absolutely designate your office hours!

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How do you make time for your marriage?

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My husband and I date every week! Thursday nights is our time to get out, away from the kids and check in with eachother. Absolutely essential for working parents.

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You’ve now got Donald Trump’s attention. He’s given you space to hold your upcoming Manhattan event! Tell us about it.

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Yes , I’m very excited about this opportunity. It’s a free event for expectant moms in Manhattan where I’ll have a panel of my trusted experts there to talk about that “Fourth Trimester”, what my agency brings to the table and overall empowering new parents, especially those with multiples on the way!

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If you live or work in Manhattan, here’s where you can meet this successful work mom and ask your questions even if you’re not anywhere close to pregnancy! Details below – I’ll be there covering the event!

 

 

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Fashion Designer Welcomed by Sassy Mamas

 

What first inspired you to create a Maternity Lingerie line?

 

 

During my first pregnancy, I realized there wasn’t anything pretty to wear that made me feel sexy. My body was going through so many changes, yet I still wanted to remain feminine. I was shocked when I went to (where else?) Victoria’s Secret and found no lingerie for expectant moms. I resorted to buying lingerie in an extra extra large size. Although the pieces made room for my growing belly, my breasts were swimming in the upper bodice because it wasn’t fitted for my size. That’s when I first had the idea of creating a lingerie line for pregnant women. This was something women needed. Feeling good is all about what we wear. It wasn’t for my husband. It was for me and how I wanted to feel in my new body.

 

 

Tell us, what does “Ke’Koqueta” mean?

 

Translated from Spanish, Ke’Koqueta literally means: “What a flirt!”, which is exactly the message I want to convey when a woman buys my lingerie. Flirting is healthy for us. Just because we’re losing our body for a few months, doesn’t mean that we can’t still feel attractive.

 

 

 

 

 

You don’t have a Fashion degree or any formal design expertise. What gave you the confidence to start a business in the Fashion Industry?

I have always considered myself a creative person and fashion has always intrigued me. I was working in Finance as an accountant at the time and just told myself that my creativity and confidence was enough for me to give it a shot. Looking back, I realize that I didn’t really plan for the “How” part entirely. I felt I just had to do it. If I truly had a unique product, there would be a market for it.

You learn more and more every day when you’re really in it. For me, I discovered how much I love designing and that really helped me remain confident.

 

Ke’Koqueta has grown fairly well for a startup, how did you get the word out?

 

The first stepping out for my line was in Las Vegas where I had my first show. I forked over $5,ooo to get a booth, created a banner, prepared some samples, invested in some advertising and my business took on a life of its own. There, I saw first hand the reaction to my pieces and it was so rewarding. Having women walk up to me and share how necessary they felt my line was in the women’s market, was the biggest thrill.

It was also where I landed a deal with Zappos.

From there I was written up in trade and consumer magazines. The internet made it easier to spread the word as I had a low budget. The brand gradually became popular.

 

What Challenges did you encounter along the way?

When first starting out, I had some negativity thrown my way, but was determined to not let anyone shoot me down. I’ll never forget meeting a male investor in New York who asked: “Why would a man want to see a pregnant woman in a teddy? Why bother, she’s already pregnant.” This viewpoint infuriated me and highlights the biggest misconception about lingerie. Lingerie is not just for men. Women want to feel sensual and sophisticated about themselves. I was glad I heard this male dominated opinion early on in my career. It fueled me to prove myself even more.

 

You are a mom with two children, who juggles a full time job while growing your business. How do you and your husband share family responsibility with so much on your plate?

I’d be lying if I said it was easy, but the golden rule my husband and I have always stuck to, is not sacrificing time away from our kids. After both of us working all day, we squeeze in catch up with our boys (8 and 6 years old). We don’t ever want to lose the quality time with our family. We each take different shifts to be there for them but ultimately one or both of us extend our days by working after they’re both asleep.

My husband is my absolute number one fan. He also started his own business several years ago, so he was able to support me knowing how much effort was involved. We try to make it fun. He cheers me up when I need a boost and vice versa.

Fortunately, I can now afford to hire people to run the bookkeeping, sales and administrative corners of my business.

 

Where do you see Ke’Koqueta in the future?

Currently, I’m setting up an online storefront where you can buy from my line direct. Before now, I was only selling wholesale to retailers. In 2010 Ke’Koqueta is destined for baby store retail chains in addition to exclusive lingerie outfits.

We’ve also begun a “Go Green” campaign and will soon be switching to organic cotton manufacturing.

 

Have you considered lending Ke’Koqueta’s name to support any women organizations?

 

Giving back is at the forefront for me. Given my product line, supporting the fight against breast cancer and working with Healthy Baby non-profits has always made the most sense to me.

 

 

 

 

 

What advice would you give to other women who have businesses in their infancy?

 

 

 

 

 

 

What advice would you give to any woman who slips into her Dream Shoes?

 

 

Have a question for Diane? Feel free to reach out to her mailbox here at In Our Shoes: DianeBenko@InRShoes.com.

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Pursuing a new Trail: Meet Debra Farber

 

In Our Shoes extends a warm welcome to working mom Debra Farber, a six time marathoner, breast cancer survivor and founder of Fit-2-Run, a growing fitness training and running company she kicked off just two years ago in her hometown of Short Hills, NJ. A few minutes into my interview, I soon learned that Debra delivers far more than just fitness regimens to her women clientele. As they follow her lead, Debra breathes life into her clients’ lives by motivating real change. Read on for her inspirational story.

 

You have been an avid athlete since college, yet only recently have you begun a fitness career.

 

Why now?

True, however after college I’ve always held jobs within the health care industry. Before I started Fit-2-Run I was on a successful career track in pharmaceutical sales working in New York City. Then in May 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At that time I reached what I would best describe as an abyss. I realized life was too short. I was unhappy in my career and letting too much quality time slip away from family. So I picked up and left Corporate America a few months later to pursue a dream I’ve always had on the backburner: to run my own fitness business. Like most moms beginning to grow a family, I needed to do something which offered me flexibility so I can be with my two children; spending more time with them, then 4 and 5 years old, was always at the forefront for me.

 

 

How are you feeling now, two years after your diagnosis?

I consider myself blessed. The cancer was caught early on. I had surgery followed by the necessary radiation and am now undergoing heavy screening. Fortunately, my condition was not in the advanced stage. My diagnosis has made a huge impact on my life. It’s been quite a journey.

 

 

Financially speaking, what would you say to someone who can’t afford to walk away from the day job they have outgrown?

I do consider myself fortunate, as I was able to walk away from my career in 2009 without financial regret. However, I believe life is a frame of mind. When I was working in the pharmaceutical industry I was putting in too much travel. When I made a clean break, I didn’t care about the money. I knew I was never cut out to be a stay at home mom and so if I was going to work it needed to be something that spoke to me – a passion. I can’t describe the satisfaction I get when I’m able to pick up my kids from school and continue to juggle a business I love.

 

 

How much did exercise contribute to your healing?

It weighed in tremendously. Right after my radiation treatment and after a six year hiatus from running a race, I took on the New York City marathon – 26.2 miles! It was the therapy I so needed. With two kids, running a business, keeping the cancer at bay, I don’t have time to be tired. If one day I am feeling tired, it is what it is. You become a salmon swimming upstream. You just do it, that’s it.

 

 

Tell us about your business Fit-2-Run.

I started Fit-2-Run to train and coach those who have a fitness goal in mind and you’ll find that this is unique in everyone. Mine is a very grass roots kind of business. I’m contacted by women who have never run before and others who want to train for a marathon. Some of my clients are busy working moms who need their running fix right before heading into the office. Others are new moms who crave their former bodies back. Some are even veteran runners who literally just need to get back on the track again.

 

 

How do you manage so many different client objectives?

I keep to a structured schedule based on individual goals.

For Post Natal fitness, I’ll host group workouts focusing on core conditioning, increasing strength and flexibility utilizing weights, bands and balls.

For the marathoners we’ll usually go out together where I’ll do individual training for all race distances depending on their comfort level.

Twice a week, I’ll hold running groups with different runs consisting of speed work, hill repeats, long runs and tempo runs.

For the working women, I developed a 30 minute express workout beginning at dawn, which works well right before their needing to jumpstart their morning commute.

 

 

Where do you normally hold your fitness training?

One of the things I love about my business is that I’m able to take my clients anywhere that works for them. I like to sit down and meet my clients for a cup of coffee where I can learn what it is that they’re trying to accomplish. If they like to be outdoors for example, I’ll take them on a hike or to the track. Some prefer a one-on-one workout where they’ll set up a space in their home. It all depends on what works best for the individual. I love the variety and my clients appreciate the flexibility, so it’s a win-win.

For my classes I’ll rent space in a dance studio. This morning I just did a group run and I’m still reeling from the rush where I can kick back on a bench and share what I have created for myself, especially now in the budding Spring season.

 

 

Do you also train men, or is your business exclusively geared towards women?

When starting out I didn’t set out to target only women, but so far they are the clients I’ve most attracted. It’s empowering to see networks building among these women from my classes. In my sessions, I try to match up similar runners to train together thereby motivating one another. Running becomes a springboard for achievement in your life and is a huge outlet for all of us. I have always run for my own enjoyment, but with my business it’s been far more rewarding and therapeutic than I could imagine.

 

 

When first starting out, how did you attract clients?

I started out very bare bones. I first posted flyers around town. I did have business cards made initially, but I have to say the local word spread quicker than the newer methods: business cards, web sites, marketing. Today, I do have those things in place to keep my business growing but I guess you never know what will cause that initial spark until you try different avenues.

It was thrilling to learn that there was a market out there where people were looking for someone like me to get them on the right track towards their fitness goals.

 

 

Where do you see your business in the future?

The next step for me is branching out into kids’ fitness, teaching them the importance of exercise and introducing them to sports specific training. I’ve had much interest from moms who have children already involved in sports. For some, they’re on the track team looking for focused training. There are the high school teens who want to train to run cross country. And then there are those kids on the opposite spectrum who may not be into sports but their parents want them to give it a try.

 

 

What challenges do you face regularly?

The most challenging aspect of my busy routine is managing my kids schedule alongside my business. I try to schedule my training early mornings, mid afternoons and weekend mornings. I generally try to steer clear from booking any evening sessions because it doesn’t lend itself to my children’s schedule.

I’ve also been struggling with the question of how quickly do I want to expand? The opportunities are there, I need to decide how I want to take them on.

 

 

How do you manage meals for your family?

I’m a mother like anyone else. I manage to have simple nutritious meals ready. I’ll sometimes pick up healthy food options from Trader Joe’s or sneak in good protein dishes with brown rice, chicken and pasta.

 

 

What advice would you give to someone who wishes to step into her dream shoes?

One of the best gifts I was given was a journal from two close running friends. They said “this is where you’re going to start writing down your dreams” and it was. I carried it around with me everywhere and wrote down everything I wanted out of my life. It’s a gift I’ll never forget. I would encourage every woman to crystallize their goals by first putting pen to paper!

1 Comment »

1. love the interviews, what a great idea!! thanks for sharing these profiles!

   Comment by Anke — January 27, 2012 @ 5:53 pm

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