This week In Our Shoes stood proud to be invited to sponsor an event hosted by Qliktech for UK based charity: Hope HIV in New York City. By the end of the day, the donation tally was at $22,000 and growing! Hope HIV is an organization supporting orphans of HIV parents in Africa that has broken ground when it comes to injecting inspiration into the donation pipeline they have created. Theirs is a reverse model of charity giving: they give away money to raise money for their cause. They will hand over ”x” amount of pounds to people they trust and ask them to take that money and make something of it to support the charity. People are so empowered, they in turn set out to exponentially increase that amount by raising funds and give it back plus more! In Our Shoes now has a permanent link to this charity (pan left). What follows is a brief speech I gave introducing In Our Shoes. If you have just joined our female village – welcome! We hope this video inspires you to return back for more!

 

Have you subscribed to In Our Shoes?

Read of  my inspiring event attending actress and author Mayim Bialik’s private book tour for “Beyond the Sling”. Coming up!  Subscribe here.

.

.

 

You asked, In Our Shoes delivered!  Dear readers, the new “Hot Spots” link is now available on tab above. These are the shortcuts to the most popular post footprints at In Our Shoes. Smuggled here are the tactical tools, solutions and wisdom found here and from my guest column in London’s Here is the City global financial news. Enjoy!

 

Most Popular Sole Spots

.

Career You

• Killer Negotiation Strategies for Women.

• Sexy Soft Skills: Why Charm will get you everywhere.

• Hush-Hush: Going Silent at the Bargaining table.

• Let it Rip!: Four Steps to Succeeding at anything.

• One Shot to Nailing your 2 Minute Commercial in Today’s Job Market.

• Gems of Advice from America’s NAFE power women.

• Risky Business: Risk nothing, Gain nothing.

• Morsels of Career Wisdom from New York University.

• This is how they’ll do it: UK Work Mums Juggling it All.

• Brit Maternity Leave: Blessing or Curse?

• The article that ruffled some mens’ feathers – (I was not serious!).

Adventurous You

• Meetup Madness: Get online to Create Change (offline).

• Find your Female Village: Why ‘Collecting’ Women is a must.

• Linking in Girl Style.

• Free Fall into a Radical Pair of New Shoes.

• Trekking to Great Britain: How I ‘pick up’ inspiring women on the road.

• Princess for a Day: Hanging with the Royals in a Castle.

Beautiful You

• Hey Beautiful. Let’s Celebrate.

• Hot Pockets: Strut your Confidence in the Office.

• Get inspired. Create your ‘This much I know’ Creed.

• Celebrate your Sweet Successes (even the teensy ones).

Mommy You

• The SuperMom Myth – Forget it, you can’t do it all.

• Mirror Mirror: American Girl or My London Girl Doll?

• Need a Mommy Time out? Go ahead, Run!

• Lose your brain for a day.

• Living a Life without Regret.

• Find your out when Doing it ALL.

• Six Bizarre Things every New Mom should know.

• Your Road Less traveled: Carving a Life from Magic Mold.

• How do you keep all engines firing? Here’s my secret.

• Forget perfect, Start Peeling your Onion.

• Be your Biggest Fan First!

Featured Movers and Shakers

• Meet a Female Rainmaker.

• Meet a British Royal and Unconventional Work mum.

• Meet a British Transplant and NY Success Story.

• Meet a Fashion Designer.

• Meet a Trail Blazer and Cancer Survivor.

• Inside the home of an International Acclaimed Artist.

Recommends

• Half a Wife: If you’re only 1/2 there ALL of the time (UK).

• Eat. Pray. Love.

 

Subscribe to In Our Shoes or Share below.

Companion “First Footprint” from In Our Shoes column in Here is the City News.

.

 

This summer In Our Shoes delivers an empowering seminar program for women offered in New York and London: the “Dream Shoe” Seminar!

.

 

.

I leave you here with the first of a 5 part free audio series unveiling the:

 

5 Footprints which Smart Ambitious Women make when following their Passion in Business!

 

Play- 17 minutes

 

.

Interviewing successful women entrepreneurs and consulting with women who have worked in corporate most of their career lives or who have stepped out of the workplace for a few years after having children and wish to re-enter, inspired this Dream Shoe seminar last year, addressing the below questions I am asked all of the time as they are considering the next stage of their careers.  Share your story in the following pre-seminar registration Profile Sheet and then explore what the Dream Shoe Seminar is all about. We hope to meet you in person! In the meantime, enjoy these 5 footprints of what working women really want out of life: to follow a career they are passionate about!

.

• Am I good enough? I’ve worked in corporate my whole life, dream shoes are just that – a big dream.
• How can I reinvent myself pursuing a career I love when I have only worked for other people?
• I have no official employment experience on paper, only an interest in XYZ business, how can I transition to a new career?
• I am a single parent and main breadwinner, how can I take a risk and start something new?

These questions and more will be addressed in this 5 part seminar and serve as a preview of the in-person Dream Shoe Seminar made available this year. I hope you enjoy this First Footprint sound byte and return back for more inspiring solutions to jumpstart you to the next stage of your career!

.

Place your comments and questions below. We can follow up with a tele-conference seminar again where we can continue the conversation on how Smart Ambitious women follow their Passions in Business!

Psssst, have you subscribed to In Our Shoes? Media share buttons sit below for you to pass it on!

 

Negotiating. You do it in your sleep.

We underestimate the deals we’re cutting around town. We bargain with car dealers,  when pushing for the next raise; we’re cutting deals  with our munchkins at every breakfast sit down before school. I myself was caught in the act over the holidays with a pretzel vendor in New York’s Rockefeller Center.  The same toasty pretzel I normally fork out 1 dollar for in an average NY minute, suddenly sky rocketed to $4 during Manhattan’s tourist trap season.

.

But I’m not here to talk about overpriced pretzels in New York’s concrete jungle.  As your Shoe Hostess I’m here to talk about a strategy you can use the next time you sit down at the bargaining table with someone. This is no longer considered men’s territory, women strike winning deals too.

.

The power of silence.

It’s not exactly something Americans swing easily. It takes alot to stifle us in general but going silent for several seconds during a a one-on-one negotiation can work wonders for your bargaining power. For one thing, it allows you to create space (an impromptu pregnant pause if you will) between you and the other person when the discussion is getting dicey.

.

Granted, it absolutely feels awkward and doesn’t come naturally for women.

We’re programmed with an aim to please and are averse to making waves. Heaven forbid we’re perceived as being difficult in a given situation. Taking a step back and suddenly going hush during a free flowing healthy conversation takes some practice but can spark some pretty powerful wins.

.

Going silent signals that you are in control and stand behind what you’re proposing. It’s a chess move that can prompt the other person to opening up with more information than they had initially planned on sharing. They could also change course by taking a different position or better yet get a closer view of what it’s like in your shoes. The good news? Any one of these motions puts you in a better position.

So don’t sweat it, silence is a good thing.

Going mum will always buy you more time especially if the terms have navigated down territory which risk your coming to a satisfying agreement in the end. More negotiation tactics in my column here for London’s Here is the City, but for now I shush and that’s all you’re going to hear from me.

.

Subscribe here.

.

.

If I’m too quiet at home, my son will check in and ask “Mummy, are you ok?”  (Peppa Pig is big in our house). I’ll answer with a short “Yep, I’m good.” followed by a big squeeze. I’ve become quite spoiled by my little man making sure I’m happy.

.

 

This scene turns a bit sour however, if my mom is visiting. She’ll usually answer with:  ”No, she’s not ok. Your mom is definitely not normal!“. 

.

Our tap dance then begins where she’ll lecture me on the life I lead. The one where I take on projects that have me travel to our Boston and Toronto offices. She’ll remind me of the weekend in Paris I took for a girlfriend getaway or how I drive too fast (maybe a half truth). I won’t mention London or my plans to hop the pond permanently one day.

.

Generally, I  don’t really swallow judgement calls. But I will say this:

Our moms get credit for all they juggled as homemakers, but when it comes to our working mama lives, they haven’t a clue.

I’m a product of a Sicilian family raised in Brooklyn, New York. Mama spent her life devoted to one thing – the famiglia.  I get that raising my brothers was no easy feat – one a musician, the other a dabbler in all life had to offer. They were good bad boys. Yet today, I’ve somehow been branded the oddity. My family is  a supportive bunch but generally speaking, they don’t really get me. A typical welcome from my brothers will be: “So what are we blogging about today sis?” followed by snickers. (I believe they secretly await the call to corrupt me one day.)  .

.

The deal is, if you’ve signed yourself up as a working mother, you either coast until you expire in this fragile economy or you step up and really make a go of it. I’ve spent almost two decades doing the work that I do. Travel and yes a satisfying social life come along for the ride. Everyone loves perks. If one tapped into the underground network of mommy guilt, you will find the break away from the home truly keeps us sane and hence makes for better mothers. It’s not just about the money.  One day my son will learn that in fact I’m very much the norm in this century and that (per big brother teasers) I’m quite a gem really.

.

I leave you with a snippet from a book just scribed by UK writer Gaby Hinsliff. “..about the future of work and the massive changes in family life that are coming together now in one big bang.”

“Half a Wife: The Working Family’s Guide to Getting a Life Back”.

.

“The impact of the so-called “second shift” done by women on top of work is a marital risk factor most couples go to the altar knowing little about. Young women prone to swooning that their boyfriend will be “a really great father” because he likes small children should learn to check instead how often he stacks the dishwasher, perhaps a better indicator of a man ready to share the routine daily work involved in family life.”

.Well

Well said Gabs. Wish you’d released nine years ago, before I myself headed to the altar. You may very well lower the divorce rate around here. Wishing you much success with its release!

Next up: The “elevator pitch” and “your 2 minute commercial”. More to come….

Subscribe here, Comment below.