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The Sexy Woman

Here’s a little tidbit on what most people think of superstar women like us but rarely say. The other evening in Soho, while out with friends over cocktails and more stimulating conversation, a woman stranger listening in, leans over and innocently asks me what it is that I do for a living. I say that I’m a writer but that my 17+ career is rooted in technology (yes your Shoe Hostess has been a computer geek since she was ten years old) . She smiles and says: “Ahhh so, you’re the sophisticated nerd girl.” Stunned, I blushed for an instant, busted a laugh and soon entered into an enlightening conversation with more women where we concluded (why yes)…

ambitious smart women have and always will be considered sexy.

It’s time to celebrate you readers. Send in what makes you feel beautiful and sexy to : Marisa@InRShoes.com. I’ll share it on an upcoming video along with my own beauty shifters! This dear readers is what connects us as the inspiring women we are.

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Oh Nike marketing gurus, are you listening?.

Moving onto the Nike brand, I’d like to quote a line from someone I recently interviewed:

“As women, there is always self doubt but our goal is to jump BETTER. Men on the other hand want to jump HIGHER.”

Lastly dear readers, I have just added yet another inspiring woman to our collection here at In Our Shoes. Stay tuned for an empowering interview with a fashion designer who walked away from an elite C suite career on Wall Street to be a successful couture mumpreneur in high fashion. You won’t want to miss it.

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Don’t forget to send your “I’m beautiful because…” email. Have you subscribed to In Our Shoes?

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“For the first time in my life, I got people respecting me. Please, don’t ask me to give it up.” – Erin Brockovich, Jersey Films (2000) .

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Don’t you just * love * that line?

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Am I a bad mommy? It’s crossed my mind before.

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The question rears its head again as I find myself  amongst the stay at home mommy’s who share their daughter’s coming out American Girl doll experience. It’s the pilgramage parents make across major cities in the US: a visit to the celebrity doll store.  I used to think it was an American thing, the race to scoop up the latest trendy goods for our children. Forget the steep price tag, only the best for princess.

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Sadly, I learned our mother ship is no better. 

The shopping bug has stung the UK as well I’m afraid.

Yes, the My London Girl doll shop swung open its doors late last year in our favorite English city.

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For those not in the know, these dolls are selected based on the physical likeness of the lucky little girl that calls it its own. We’re talking the same hair style and color, eyes, skin tone and yes even down to dress up and personal fashion statements dear readers.

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Still I hold the line. My six year old has yet to comb the matching auburn tresses of her American mini-me doll. 

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The chats I have with stay at home moms on those rare playdates I have time for, often veer into the haves and have nots of our children. There’s not much wiggle room for me (the now and again black sheep) to pipe up and say that I can smell the marketing ploys of these capitalizing toy makers.

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Parents take the forbidden bite that sells. The secret to building confidence in our little girls lies simply in their “mirror mirror on the wall“.  Sorry, but the fixation on the whole matching mini-me thing kind of wigs me out plus I don’t really get it. Don’t we want our kids to appreciate beauty in all of the skin and hair palettes which paint the world’s landscape?

American Girl’s  “follow your inner star” mantra seems a bit twisted given the beauty myth they’re selling,

not to mention conflicting for parents if teaching your child that beauty is only skin deep.

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On to more important matters. I have a bone to pick with  Thomas the Train whom little girls also love to play with. 

When oh when will a splendid pink engine be added to the steam team to prove her railway worthiness? 

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Sir Topham Hat: are you listening?

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Back in the day when I was very green inching up in Corporate America, if someone gave me a compliment on my hair, dress or some deliverable I had churned out with my best sweated effort, most times I felt awkward and pretty antsy about taking the godforsaken compliment. I’m sure there are plenty of psychology books out there oozing with explanation on this reaction from women (versus men). The act of shoo-ing away praise that is.

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But as your Shoe Hostess, I’m not here to tell you why we women think and do these bizarre things.  I’m here to say. Nay, I’m here to shout that 

if someone gives me a compliment today I’ll straighten up, look them square on and say: “thank you“.

I may also follow it up with a brief nod of acceptance. Work it like the Queen would as she looks on into the crowd approvingly.

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With that said dear readers, I share some In Our Shoes news. I’ve received word today from the editors of BlogHer.  

I’m proud to shout out that I’ve been featured on their What’s hot section of BlogHer’s Career channel this week for my posts on Soft Skills bringing Sexy back and  One Shot at Resume/CV success. So if you’ve missed them last month, be sure to take a peek and thank you, BlogHer!

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It’s the 12th day of the year. Have you celebrated your sweet successes yet?   Do share at Marisa@InRShoes.com and I’ll shout it out and link back to you here on In Our Shoes!  It’s time.

It’s time for you to take a bow.

A bit of inspiration I picked up when visiting the British Library in London  from the man who brought us Sherlock Holmes:

“I am tending my little literary sprouts and making them into cabbages” – Arthur Conan Doyle in a letter to his mother regarding the progress he’s made as a writer.   

 

 

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I recently met a candid warm Jordanian mom in my neighborhood. Luma loves to share her culture and where she perceives she fits in the American backdrop. Today I invited her over for an outdoor brunch.

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While on paper we may not have much in common, Luma and I always have a fabulous time sharing of ourselves. Today she spoke of her husband and how exceptionally conservative an Arab he is. She shared the story of when he was courting her back home in college where they met.  She liberally wore revealing clothing such as short skirts, trendy tops, styles that emitted her femininity. Once their relationship grew serious and she accepted his hand, he made one expectation known.  That he would wish her to always cover with a hijab thereby removing her from the roaming public eye.

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Even though Luma came from a somewhat liberal Arab family, she agreed to this request. It’s something she says that a woman from her background can choose to do if she wishes, but it is not necessary. She spoke of how she despised wearing it at first; it was constricting and suppressed her feelings as an attractive woman. Now, she says if her husband ever asked her to remove it (albeit an unlikely request) she could never do it. She’s become so accustomed to it, it would feel foreign for her to dress without it.

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Although a hijab is a far cry from a clothing accessory American women would embrace, her admission had me consider all the ways our relationships shape us permanently. Our way versus our partner’s way of living. How we adapt the other’s “normal” to become our own. How challenging it can be should we attempt to throw off the blanket we’re nestled in, because we’ve owned it for so long.

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Recognize the hijab in your life. Is it time for you to unveil?

 

 

The old me would linger at the cosmetic counter to match the right shade of pink lips. You might also find her dangling arm candy whilst considering if it worked with an evening outfit.

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This week on one of my city sprints from my suburban orb, I felt like celebrating me in a bold way. I considered:

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“What do I love about myself that makes me feel beautiful, sexy and alive in this road runner skin of mine?”

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It wasn’t exactly a laundry list, but what ranked number one was my strawberry blonde hair which (seriously) has never turned on me with grey. I love that it sparkles in the sun and when women strangers tap me on the shoulder to ask: “What number is your color?”!

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So today’s the day I celebrate me (and no, I don’t feel full of myself because of it!). These pictures were taken in NYC’s Bryant Park during a lunch break away from the office.

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What do you love about yourself that makes you Free to BE?  Now grab your ‘cam and have someone snap reminders so you’ll never forget! 

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Join the Movement: Own your Beauty.

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In Our Shoes was honored to meet fashion designer Diane Benko, founder of Ke’Koqueta a rapidly growing Intimate Maternity line that has pregnant women embracing their bodies in their fullest form.

 

Benko shares with In Our Shoes that all of her long nights planning, sketching, designing and branding her line have finally paid off; her dream was not just a creative whim of a restless working mom!

 

Read her success story in my interview and learn how a little courage and conviction can keep us strutting down the dream path we too are destined for.

 

Here’s a quick tally of where Ke’Koqueta has made its mark in the maternity circuit and media:

 

• Landed its first major retail contract with Zappos.
• Featured in Body magazine.
• Introduced in Intimate Apparel Business magazine.
• Plugged in Europe’s popular Knickers Blog; the source for new lingerie buzz.
• Picked up by an expanding chain of online retailers, to name a few:
  • www.stellamaternity.com
  • www.euphoriamaternity.com
  • www.josephineslingerie.com
  • www.blisseureka.com
  • www.thepossibilitiesroom.com
• Nominated for the esteemed Contours International Lingerie Award (CILA); a ceremony recognizing designers for their creativity in lingerie and sleepwear.
• Featured in Pregnancy & Newborn magazine.
• Soon to be plugged in American Baby magazine this February 2010.

Today Ke’Koqueta has branched out globally into retail chain stores located in Canada, Panama, Ireland, Africa and Japan. It has also established a Maternity Distribution and Sales presence across all US regions.

 

Read on for the exclusive interview!

 

POP QUIZ

 

Q: I am one of two subtle square slots on your trousers.

Q: I can comfortably hold a loot of up to three dollars in change.

Q: My one size fits all nature, welcomes any hand to rest easily.

 

 

 

 

Drum roll, please… 

 

 

 

ANSWER: I am your oft-neglected hip pocket!

 

Work with me on this one.  

 

I am in a waiting room with an inviting spread of magazines fanned before me. My roving eye will touch upon the top Parenting picks I should be reading. Instead l move on to Cosmo or one of its sister glossies headlining the latest beauty and fashion tips. Hey, it’s fifteen minutes of precious perusing I would otherwise not have, if not for a doctor holding out to receive me.

 

“Dressing for success” on any occasion, is a big deal for us ladies and always threaded into a fashion story. Working our body language and recognizing how we carry ourselves, play as key a role as our clothing sense.

 

Enter—the hip pocket.

 

After reaching out to men in their mid thirties and forties, I learned of their “no junk in the trunk” theory.  This suggests that our Venus vanity will simply not allow us to place much more in our hip pocket beyond the discreet ID, debit card, and stick of gum.

 

True enough. However, last I checked there’s no crime in wanting to minimize any bulges stemming from our maiden form, artificially placed or not. 

 

In this post, I thought about how I wear my own clothes and found resting hand-in-pocket radiates my self-confidence, especially when I walk. 

 

You may be surprised. A quick slip of the hand in your pocket, followed by a casual cool strut can really wow onlookers by your new poised and authentic style!

 

A homework exercise: invent a fun pocket-picking walking exercise you could “try on” (with any outfit).  

 

Consider the function of those oh so teensy thumb sized pockets that sit front and center on our jeans. Designers must have placed them there to say something, maybe lend us some attitude?

    

How will you jazz up your style with something that oozes your personality?

 

Here’s a celebrity pic of Katie Holmes “working” her own pockets when spotted in New York City.  

 

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Give your hot pockets a whirl!