If I’m too quiet at home, my son will check in and ask “Mummy, are you ok?”  (Peppa Pig is big in our house). I’ll answer with a short “Yep, I’m good.” followed by a big squeeze. I’ve become quite spoiled by my little man making sure I’m happy.

.

 

This scene turns a bit sour however, if my mom is visiting. She’ll usually answer with:  ”No, she’s not ok. Your mom is definitely not normal!“. 

.

Our tap dance then begins where she’ll lecture me on the life I lead. The one where I take on projects that have me travel to our Boston and Toronto offices. She’ll remind me of the weekend in Paris I took for a girlfriend getaway or how I drive too fast (maybe a half truth). I won’t mention London or my plans to hop the pond permanently one day.

.

Generally, I  don’t really swallow judgement calls. But I will say this:

Our moms get credit for all they juggled as homemakers, but when it comes to our working mama lives, they haven’t a clue.

I’m a product of a Sicilian family raised in Brooklyn, New York. Mama spent her life devoted to one thing – the famiglia.  I get that raising my brothers was no easy feat – one a musician, the other a dabbler in all life had to offer. They were good bad boys. Yet today, I’ve somehow been branded the oddity. My family is  a supportive bunch but generally speaking, they don’t really get me. A typical welcome from my brothers will be: “So what are we blogging about today sis?” followed by snickers. (I believe they secretly await the call to corrupt me one day.)  .

.

The deal is, if you’ve signed yourself up as a working mother, you either coast until you expire in this fragile economy or you step up and really make a go of it. I’ve spent almost two decades doing the work that I do. Travel and yes a satisfying social life come along for the ride. Everyone loves perks. If one tapped into the underground network of mommy guilt, you will find the break away from the home truly keeps us sane and hence makes for better mothers. It’s not just about the money.  One day my son will learn that in fact I’m very much the norm in this century and that (per big brother teasers) I’m quite a gem really.

.

I leave you with a snippet from a book just scribed by UK writer Gaby Hinsliff. “..about the future of work and the massive changes in family life that are coming together now in one big bang.”

“Half a Wife: The Working Family’s Guide to Getting a Life Back”.

.

“The impact of the so-called “second shift” done by women on top of work is a marital risk factor most couples go to the altar knowing little about. Young women prone to swooning that their boyfriend will be “a really great father” because he likes small children should learn to check instead how often he stacks the dishwasher, perhaps a better indicator of a man ready to share the routine daily work involved in family life.”

.Well

Well said Gabs. Wish you’d released nine years ago, before I myself headed to the altar. You may very well lower the divorce rate around here. Wishing you much success with its release!

Next up: The “elevator pitch” and “your 2 minute commercial”. More to come….

Subscribe here, Comment below. 

NH79ZJX5MZE8

I’m not trying to be a film star. I”m the writer, I tell myself with each morning stretch. This week however, another film opportunity has surfaced and now I’m thinkin’ there’s something spooky going on. 

Do S....

Do Something.

Learn Something.

Share Something.

Change Something.

Meetup dot com learned of my  British royal film debut and asked if I would be in their upcoming Meetup Movie highlighting the amazing experiences and opps people have had through the use of their community site.  They go on to say I’m one of millions of members chosen for the production set to start filming in Manhattan’s Chelsea district next week. What’s there to think about?  I accepted on the spot and am thrilled to once more take part in such a rare opportunity.

.

For those of you who haven’t caught the bug, global http://www.meetup.com/ is a powerful tool you can use to change your life.  It ranks right up there in  my “try something new” shoes. Whether you’d like to try  a new sport, learn a new language, create new relationships, it all boils down to one thing – networking and connections and this my dear readers are what the experts say keeps us smiling.

.

Research has swirled around, proving people lead far happier and satisfied lives when they belong to a group.

I’ve joined kayaking meetups, italian speaking meetups, cooking meetups, funky-jazz-in-smokey-bar meetups  and any women connections meetup that rears its head in Manhattan. You meet different personalities that in any other circumstance you wouldn’t imagine you’d have anything in common with, until you the hit the Meetup scene. From a businesss point of view, there are tons of powerful network opportunity groups forming each day around the world. These guys got it right and it’s addictive. .

.

.

Tomorrow I attend: “Coming out on Top of Change“, a leadership conference empowering women to manage and create change whilst working in the ever fluctuating financial services industry – all to be smuggled right back to you here.

.

TGIF everyone.

 

 Subscribe here.

Thanksgiving. I could have slept in late, brewed my longed for espresso while catching the morning news; maybe pruned the rose bushes while my little ones hit the see-saw. That would have been practical and maybe even well deserved considering my chaotic work life at the moment.

.

Alas, I’m the girl who needs to be on the move; for now that is. I’m still waiting for a reason to slow down.

..

Having worked many hours for the day job and cramming in late hours for women interviews , I crashed by the time I hung my hat at home. Barely rested, stickey eyes, (slept-in contact lens, rare circumstance when that happens), I pulled a cold shower, packed the overnight bags and crafted an adventurous scene to my critters of the impromptu train journey we were about to make.

.

They cheered me on with a loud: “Yayyyyy!” and just like that, the three of us were off.

..

Munchkins (below)- soaking in the Hudson Valley on their way to see their Aunt. 

.

Me – (behind the camera)  sipping my tea in quiet meditation on the choo choo train. These stolen moments are when I do my best deep thinking.

.

There’s something to be said about being in transit, going to the next place, what or who may be waiting on the other side…

.

My kids are not going to remember the home cooked meals I had no time to make.

.

They’ll recall the journeys we took together and their spontaneous imperfect mom who showed them a life that was far from boring. 

.

I’ll take it.

.

.

 

 

 

 

 

.

Subscribe here.

Your Shoe Hostess has safely returned to the States back to the hubbub of Wall Street trading. Besides struggling with the time difference she is feeling a bit dazed and confused thinking Ummmmm, what just happened?
.
I can’t tell you how exciting it was to be part of a film set in such a historical setting.  Much to share on my castle filming adventure, but for now, here are some photos with Lord Gerald, Lady Emma, myself and the “cast” and my pitiful attempt at foraging mushrooms (last pic). More to come on this!

.

I also want to acknowledge a special friendship I discovered while in London, someone I hadn’t seen in 18 years who has followed their childhood passion into an inspiring profession today.  These are the shoes I look for. Enjoy
 
.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

 

.

 

.

 

.

I’m delighted to share that I’ve extended my stay to take part in an impromptu adventure here in the UK. I have been selected to be part of a British documentary filmed by Landmark Films set in the English countryside of Yorkshire inside the jaw dropping  castle of Carlton Towers.  There I will forage mushrooms, pluck pheasants and take part in a delish gourmet cooking experience presented to the Lord and Lady royals of the estate. 

.

I look forward to being part of this humbling experience and will be sure to share every morsel of my travel writing Getaway Shoes.

.

.

.

In the vein of gratitude, I would like to give credit to my former husband and mom back in New York City. Had they not juggled their own lives to support me with child care this week, this opportunity would not have been made possible.

Wherever your feet successfully land, remember the support system you’ve nurtured to get you there.

Cheers!

.

Your Shoe Hostess has planted her work shoes across the pond! Yes dear readers, this week I’m in fabulous London.  As promised I’ve managed to “pick  up” more inspiring women on my travels.

.

I’ve just met Jeanne Petersen, working mum of two girls who (ready for this?) travels from Denmark to her office in London once a week, ready to hit the ground running.

.

This is not what wowed me however.  Cabbing it back to the company flat together, Jeanne shared her amazing story on  how she created the career she now owns in London including the confident flight she hopped on to London for her interview to convince rapidly expanding IT global consulting firm Project Brokers, why they needed her on their leading team.  She landed the  job she pitched on the spot and is now leading their Head of Operations and about to embark on a new role opening up an office in Toronto.

.

I’ve always believed when you go after something, behave as though you’ve already won it…

and the rest is the success story I promise you’re sharing with your grandchildren one day!

.

Stay tuned ladies for more of her inspiring story. More to come soon! 

.

 

I’m not a whiner, but lately I find myself venting about mommy guilt alot. Guilty about going out after work for social cocktails. Guilty about taking a 1/2 day kayak trip (my “try something new” shoes). Guilty about attending a NAFE board meeting or anything really which pulls me from the kids.

.

Then a friend said three magical words that snapped be back to reality.

“Be selfish sometimes”.

It’s true, I’m ready to burn out on mommy & me play dates across the state of NJ and NYC. For most of the year, I’m a good mommy, right?

.

So last weekend (yep an entire weekend that started with Friday night!) I saw an inspiring Manhattan play on Motherhood with my bff: Motherhood Out Loud. I laughed, I cried. I walked away with a slap in your face kind of mortality. After we raise our children, we find ourselves raising our parents and worrying about their every move. The circle goes on and on.

.

The next day I attended an all day Alumni event at NYU, my former grad school. I met more inspiring people and closed the day with some powerful tips from their career workshop, which I share with you here. Enjoy.

.

I’m not Jewish but this is after all their New Years. It seems fitting then to make some resolutions in the spirit of such a worldwide religious celebration. I resolve to be selfish more often because guess what?

When I returned from my “selfish me weekend”, my kids were just fine.

.

Job Search Tips:NYU School of Continuing & Professional Studies

• Write it down. Yep, to the bones. What do you want your dream job to be? For me, my background is in IT, I’m a breeded developer, PM and Systems Implementor. But wow wouldn’t I love a career where I could let my writing shine too? There, I just wrote it down.

 

• Ask your colleagues what they feel stands out about you. Leverage this list when you go into an interview. Show them why you’re the shining star that twinkles above the rest.

 

• What is your Value Add? What do you bring to the table that would make me want to hire you?

 

• When needing help from others, use the words “Can I ask your advice?” instead of “Can you help me?”.  The former will always seal the deal.

 

• Handwritten notes are still classy. After the interview send one out. Think pretty stationary, curvy script, personalization! 

 

• Become a facebook fan, follow the tweets of a website or company you want to work for. When in the interview, you’ll have cool up to the minute tidbits of info that can spark a clever conversation.

 

• Google yoursef. Do you like the hits you receive? Hope so, if someone wants to hire you, that’s the first button they’re pressing.

 

• Build your personal brand. Develop your personal mission statement and create a web page that summarizes who you are professionally and personally.

 

• Set up Google Alerts on industries and companies that interest you.

 

• Linked in – this was by far the most powerful tool you can use in your hunt for a new job.
• Grow at least 100 connections by hook or by crook – this is  a must. 
• Make frequent updates to your profile to keep you front and center with the people connected to you.
• Connect to Alumni groups and any organizations you are a part of.
• Linked in is a searchable database, therefore use the right key words in the summary section of your profile so the managers you want to attract can find you!

Advice from Pamela Weinberg, a career coach, co-founded Mind Your Own Business Moms a business dedicated to helping moms re-enter the workplace.

.

This week the seas parted for this working mama when I chose a special pick-me-up after work, escaping from a solemn sweep of global layoffs across my firm. I accepted an opportunity to meet inspiring success minded women at an event hosted by NAFE (National Association for Female Executives).

.

On a guest invite extended to me by NAFE director and NYC Health & Wellness coach:  Irene Ross, I attended the “Resilience and Overcoming Professional Obstacles” workshop. My 90 minute stay was all it took (once more on the clock to relieve the babysitter), I’ve already signed up for membership.

.

If you’re longing to belong somewhere that will nudge you along on your personal pursuit of professional success, this is the female village for you.

.

After the keynote given by award winning TV producer, author, and journalist Alison Gilbert, we broke out into separate groups and shared the challenges each of us were facing. Here are some take aways from my little NAFE circle.

.

• As women we tend to take things too personally which prohibits us from advancing our professional lives. Not getting too close, separating ourselves from the emotional and focusing on our work can keep us shining. As one woman entrepreneur (NYC based Mom to Moms Advisor) at the table said : “When I’m getting too caught up in the personal, I remind myself that another cool-headed woman is making a buck”.
• Lower the bar. We want that routine. We want consistency. We want to do the things that make us more productive: meditation, writing, marketing etc. Start slow, take those baby steps and the universe will  eventually open up the time we crave.
• Create a corner space of your own no matter how small to invoke creativity, thinking time; whatever stirs your inner muse.
• Check in with yourself regularly. Ask yourself: “How did I do do this week? What could I have done better?”
• Release your inner child. Find the passions that moved you as a child and bring them forward to your present.

.

My personal favorite piece of advice came from wise woman Noris Cabrera who had raised her two, now adult children. She said: “Honey, be good to your kids. Love your kids. Do what you need to for your kids, but don’t live for your kids. Do just enough to teach them how to fly; always find the time for you“.

.

This stirred one of my nagging voices that for the first time is broadcasting itself here on my blogaphone.

.

Don’t give every second of your life away to your kids, because yours is a life worth living too. That guilty question you ask yourself: “Am I doing enough for my kids?” is probably a yes. 

.

I left that convention with a NAFE bag, a mug and an unexpected pocket full of ideas to recharge my work. Not bad for my ninety minute window.

.

“Take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway…”
-Kelly Clarkson

.In this moment, sign yourself up for something new; sign yourself up for possibility.