Play – the 3rd Footprint

 (18 minutes)

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Continuing our 5 part footprint series here at In Our Shoes, we deliver the third footprint that successful women leaders and independent professionals make when aiming for a career they love. If you are just joining us here at In Our Shoes – welcome! Before you leave, be sure to Subscribe to stay current on all the events, seminar programming and power interviews we land here! Don’t forget to check out this summer’s seminar programming delivering the Dream Shoe Seminar offered in New York and London which this five part series is a segueway to: empowering women to go for a career they are passionate about sans any barriers!

Footprint 1

• Audio Replay (17 minutes)
• Our Career Column in Here is the City News.

Footprint 2 -

• Audio Replay (21 minutes)
• Our Career Column in Here is the City News.

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Interviewing successful women entrepreneurs and consulting with women who have worked in corporate most of their career lives or who have stepped out of the workplace for a few years after having children and wish to re-enter, inspired this Dream Shoe seminar last year, addressing the below questions I am asked all of the time as they are considering the next stage of their careers. Share your story in the following pre-seminar registration Profile Sheet and then explore what the Dream Shoe Seminar is all about. We hope to meet you in person! In the meantime, enjoy these 5 footprints of what working women really want out of life: to follow a career they are passionate about!

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Psssst, have you subscribed to In Our Shoes? Media share buttons sit below for you to pass it on!

 

This week In Our Shoes stood proud to be invited to sponsor an event hosted by Qliktech for UK based charity: Hope HIV in New York City. By the end of the day, the donation tally was at $22,000 and growing! Hope HIV is an organization supporting orphans of HIV parents in Africa that has broken ground when it comes to injecting inspiration into the donation pipeline they have created. Theirs is a reverse model of charity giving: they give away money to raise money for their cause. They will hand over ”x” amount of pounds to people they trust and ask them to take that money and make something of it to support the charity. People are so empowered, they in turn set out to exponentially increase that amount by raising funds and give it back plus more! In Our Shoes now has a permanent link to this charity (pan left). What follows is a brief speech I gave introducing In Our Shoes. If you have just joined our female village – welcome! We hope this video inspires you to return back for more!

 

Have you subscribed to In Our Shoes?

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Please welcome our next guest here to our empowering female village: Malvina Guretsky (aka “MAG”),

 

A former Wall Street A-lister who walked away from a lucrative executive career at investment giant Deutsche Bank to become a mumpreneur.

She was one of only eight women selected from her division to gain entry into a leadership program that would fast track her to the C-suite as a Managing Director. Entering an intense coaching program, she was prepped with all of the tools and resources she would need to run the company, leaving colleagues in bewilderment when she resigned.

 

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Why would she take the off-ramp at the very height of her career?

 

The short answer Malvina Guretsky reveals:

 

“The higher I climbed in my career, the further I lost my identity.”

 

Co-breadwinner with her husband providing for their three children, Malvina Guretsky confesses she had no answer to the obvious question from concerned family and friends: “So what’s next?”

 

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Malvina’s next move was completely unexpected, leading her to the fashion retail industry. This Mother’s Day, she will be opening completely new doors – those of her new boutique MAG Tricotes, launching a unique hand-knitted clothing line designed for women and little girls. She has also caught the attention of Martha Stewart and appeared live making her unique fashion statement on the  The Female Entrepreneur show taped April 4, 2011!

 

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Do superstar women at the top of their game abandon their career to spend more time with their families?

They would, when they no longer recognize their reflection staring at them in the mirror, Guretsky’s story reveals. This In Our Shoes interview captures dream shoes in the making; we’re honored to have Malvina Guretsky here with us to share her success stories!

 

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IN OUR SHOES: Malvina, welcome to In Our Shoes! I will start by saying that your story reads like a bestseller off the fiction shelf! First, tell us a bit about your background.

 

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MAG: Thanks so much. I was born in the Ukraine and came to the US shortly after my seventeenth birthday with only a few hundred dollars in my pocket. I picked up English in nine months and received a full academic college scholarship to NYU in their computer science and math program. I later entered the financial services industry, building proprietary order routing systems across US trading floors for brokerage firms.

 

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IN OUR SHOES: Your last career move was accepting a Director level position at Deutsche Bank Global Equities Division. Did you ever have any doubts about whether you would succeed in that new role?

 

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MAG: I never had doubts. I knew that the role would come with many unknowns and would be a challenge given its global presence. I had just left a position at a brokerage firm where there was no real challenge left for me. I had moved up and sideways and still there was no change. I was ready for something new and exciting.

 

 

 

IN OUR SHOES: Although a veteran in the financial services industry, this was a very senior role with far more reach than you had in your career thus far. How did you approach stepping into these shoes?

 

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MAG: From my observation, a woman would take a more structured approach to the decision-making process; she would get actively involved in every intricate detail of every task being handled by her team. I was no exception to that rule – I first spent a lot of time with my internal teams as well as with my clients, understanding and often experiencing firsthand their challenges and frustrations. I then analyzed the data collected, and only then I proceeded to make executive decisions. Granted sometimes this approach takes considerably more time than simply directing, yet I believe in the end it yields better results.

 

A good friend of mine once told me that the best leaders are those who know the strengths and daily tasks of their employees, two levels down. He believed that if every corporation were run like that, the results would be astounding. I have tested this theory and I am now a firm believer that it works.

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IN OUR SHOES: Talk to us about failure. Were you scared to fail?

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MAG: A close friend coached me early on and gave me a great advice. He said that it’s okay to be nervous, but not to be scared. I never forgot that.

A failure is commonly defined as lack of success. I simply define it as a valuable lesson learned. We can all learn from our mistakes and change direction, which is not the same as failure.

IN OUR SHOES: Step us into the shoes of a Director of Global Equities at a leading investment bank. What is it like?

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MAG: Honestly, I’ll admit it was glamorous at first. I was traveling on business one to three weeks a month jetting between North America, Europe and Asia. The money was great and I was being challenged once again. Things however began to change for me when I was selected for a leadership program, which would promote me to a Managing Director.

The game had changed to something I had not been exposed to before. I was being prepped to be a master at navigating the corporate landscape to survive, watching my back at every turn, and essentially being groomed to win by a man’s playbook.

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IN OUR SHOES: What was the primary reason that led you to resign? That’s a lot of traveling for a mom with three kids at home. If the travel had been eliminated, would you have stayed?

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MAG: I would love to sit here and give you the socially acceptable answer admitting to missing my kids. The travel was absolutely grueling after a while and I did miss them, but it wasn’t the driver behind my decision to leave. The corporate game I learned to play and liked too much was changing me into someone I no longer recognized. I questioned who I was every day, and worse, I soon found myself playing this game at home. I could no longer distinguish between my identity at work and at home.

The money was excellent and my role was esteemed, but it pulled me away from the person I was.

IN OUR SHOES: What was the reaction of senior management at Deutsche Bank when you submitted your resignation?

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MAG: They were hands down shocked and in disbelief. They heavily hinted on more than one occasion at throwing more money at me to change my mind. I wasn’t surprised. Managers often use this easy approach, assuming that would be a quick solution to any problem.

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IN OUR SHOES: What did you do once you found yourself in the shoes of a stay-at-home mom?

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MAG: I absolutely loved being a stay-at-home mom and being with my kids! I embraced it all. I turned the house upside down and took on home makeover projects! I registered my kids in extra curricular activities, started driving them around, getting to know them, their teachers, my neighbors – all the things I hadn’t had the time to do before. I grew a large organic garden and began harvesting vegetables. I spent time with friends and family and just kept myself busy.

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IN OUR SHOES: It must have been a sharp change for you to suddenly be on a soccer mom schedule. You created a clothing line after only four months of being at home as a full time mom!

 

MAG: My intention after leaving Wall Street was to give myself enough time to focus on the next step. It just turned out that the next step for me was something that I had been passionate about my entire life – that is fashion and couture knitwear. The second I picked up an old pair of knitting needles, I knew that was it. I also had a clear vision for my store – a vision of a small boutique that felt like home, where each garment was lovingly made by hand, where every piece reflected the skill of the designer and the artisan, where the fabric would be so soft, one just couldn’t help but want to touch it, where the cut was so classy and design so timeless, one never had to worry about trends, where the client actually had a say in the final product. I started networking, designing, selecting fibers and colors, hiring professionals in order to grow my new business venture: a hand-knitted couture clothing line for women and babies. Four months later, I had filed to incorporate MAG Tricotes.

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IN OUR SHOES: Talk to us about the loss of your income. That must have been a substantial cut for a family of five given an established quality of life.

 

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MAG: It was a financial setback we were ready for.

 

My husband and I were prepared to downsize and sell our house, if necessary.

 

Lack of money doesn’t scare me. We have always lived within our means, no matter what those means were. We never carried any debt. After I had resigned, we made some adjustments to our lifestyle. I no longer needed to turnover my wardrobe every month. We no longer had a need for a live-in nanny. Seeing how my kids loved having me at home really shifted my priorities.

 

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Anyone can afford to quit the job to pursue one’s dream. We’re allowed to wake up one day and choose to be happy at work. What’s more important? My cousin graduated from Columbia University in the top 3% of her class. She had every lucrative job offer you can imagine. Instead she chose to become a park ranger in New York City. A great day for her is when she rescues a baby eagle that falls from its nest! Now that’s inspiring!

 

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IN OUR SHOES: Did your friends and family support your decision to resign?

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MAG: My mother was devastated. I’m her only child; she was extremely proud of me and was always bragging to everyone about my career success. She didn’t take the news well and was worried about how we were going to adjust with only one source of income for the foreseeable future.

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IN OUR SHOES: Malvina, you’ve achieved success working in Corporate America. Now you are venturing out on your own starting your own clothing line. Tell us some things that you want people to know about your approach to success.

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MAG:

 

I do not take no for an answer. When people tell me that I cannot do something, I just smile. I embrace every new challenge with open arms..

 

IN OUR SHOES: Tell us three things that your closest friends would be shocked to know about you.

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MAG: I am very open with those who are close to me, thus I’m afraid I can only come up with a couple of facts, if any. My friends would probably not believe this, but I am a 100% true blooded introvert. That’s not to say I’m anti-social. I just don’t enjoy small talk and empty chatter. When I have to go to a social event, I thank G-d when it’s over and I can go home and put my feet up. Introverts tend to engage in one long meaningful conversation – and that is what I enjoy most of all. The second little secret is that I was a pretty good rifle shooter for ten years in the Ukraine, earning second prize at a National competition. I’m also a control freak and a perfectionist – but I don’t think it’s a big secret.

 

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IN OUR SHOES: Tell us about the challenges you faced as you started MAG Tricotes?

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MAG: I can count on one hand the things I knew about starting my own business. I knew how to knit. I knew how to find the right people. I knew how to select fine fibers. I knew how to get people together for a common goal. That was it.

You don’t know what you don’t know. I didn’t know how to price my garments. I didn’t know how to track inventory. I didn’t know how to scan the tags or what search engine optimization was all about. The list goes on and on. Guess what? Today I know how to do all of those things. I am sure tomorrow yet another unknown will come up, and I am sure that I will overcome that challenge, too.

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IN OUR SHOES: Malvina, you appear to be a restless soul. Is that a true statement?

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MAG: Yes, I am absolutely restless. I am restless in my determination. As a perfectionist, I am constantly second-guessing: “Did I do it right? Could I have done it better?” I am never content with what I’ve achieved, I always want to do better.

 

Us women tend to be our own toughest judges. We often carry self-doubt on our shoulders, and second-guess our actions. Our goal is to always jump better. Men, on the other hand, always want to jump higher.

IN OUR SHOES: What led you to start a business striding such foreign territory without prior skills or experience working in the fashion retail industry?

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MAG: The career I had was admittedly glamorous given the money and travel. There was nothing more satisfying than my work.

 

The price I paid for that first class seat however was with my precious family time. It was simply time to shift my priorities and start something new.

 

The most important qualities I possess are: my passion, my impeccable customer service skills, my ability to find the right people for the right job, and a healthy belief in myself. The rest can be learned.

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IN OUR SHOES: Where do you see the future of MAG Tricotes? Tell us about your dream shoes.

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MAG: I see myself extending into home and ladies accessories such as crocheted purses and hats, hand knit cashmere covers for pillows and sofas. I’m also envisioning four more stores located in Greenwich, Manhattan, Beverly Hills and Aspen.

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IN OUR SHOES: Switching gears, as you know In Our Shoes also takes a stand for supporting career women in the UK. What is your perception of career women in London given your frequent travel there for Deutsche Bank?

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MAG: Working for many months in Europe, I discovered that a British woman’s lifestyle appeared to be more traditional than that of an American career woman. I saw how natural, and almost expected, it was for a career woman in London to call it quits and stay home after having a baby.

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IN OUR SHOES: What advice would you share with women who want to go after their dream shoes but are battling the economy’s pressures or are single moms?

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MAG: There will always be various pressures and challenges in life. There are some people who will wake up and say: “Today it’s not sunny, so I won’t do this” or “911 just happened, I can’t do it now.” We can only worry about things that are in our control, the rest are either obstacles to overcome, or simple excuses.

 

Living your life means just that: living your life. We only have one. Know what you want and go for it.

 

It’s better to look back and say “I tried and had a good run” rather than “I should have tried it and now I will never know.”

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IN OUR SHOES: Why did you choose In Our Shoes as the platform to host your first interview?

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MAG: I like working with people whom I can trust and I know I could trust you and your work here. I love inspiring other women AND being inspired by them.

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IN OUR SHOES: You are about to open your boutique in Scarsdale, NY on Mother’s day. Do you have any doubts about its success?

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MAG: My experience, my passion, and my intuition will lead it to success. I am nervous, but not worried. I just know:

 

If you want to succeed at something you have to wave away any fear of failure.

What inspiring advice. What we love about Malvina’s story is how she outgrew the corporate career shoes that no longer fit with her family life to pursue a lifelong passion with an optimistic spirit.

It also answers the pressing question swirling around every women’s lifestyle media channel: Why do women abandon the C-suite?

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Malvina’s label, MAG Tricotes (tricoter: “to knit”, in French) is a creative play on her initials (Alexandrovna is her middle name). This spring season Malvina Guretsky opens the doors to her luxury boutique in Scarsdale, NY. In her boutique she created an intimate environment, which allows Malvina to provide an unsurpassed personalized shopping experience to each and every client. MAG’ high-end, unique hand knitted and crocheted clothing line for sophisticated women and little girls delivers high end fashion with MAGnificent flair.

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You can visit MAG Tricotes boutique at 120 Christie Place Scarsdale, NY 10583 and online to preview the MAG luxury line of unique designer pieces at http://www.MAGTricotes.com.

: http://www.facebook.com/MAGTricotes.

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Have a empowering interview you want In Our Shoes to host?

Ready to sprint into your Dream Shoes?

In Our Shoes is committed to empowering women to slip into their dream shoes leading them to a profession they are passionate about. Have a business idea you’ve been tossing around but don’t feel you’re good enough? Ready to take the leap towards starting a new career or kick up your business a notch to reach the next stage?

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Discover your secret sauce for stepping towards success! Attend the Dream Shoe Coaching Seminar!

You’ll walk away with a fresh vault of ideas to jump start your journey to the next level surrounded by like-minded inspirational women for support!

 

If you haven’t heard of TED, this is the place you’ll want to go to launch your dream shoes. TED is an ambitious crowd sourcing experiment where you have the opportunity to launch your ideas out to a worldwide audience. The ideas you can throw out cover the range of creativity, invention, business, science and the most pressing global issues once the stage opens up in your city (they have just left London).

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A picture is worth a thousand words and In Our Shoes is going for gold. Here is my handwritten picture (below) of what I believe is essential for women to advance themselves in organizations while juggling it ALL.

The TED Audition

Our pitch to change how the world does business:

establishing mini coaching circles of 6 women with one (male or female) champion at all levels in public and private sector organizations. The circles are meant to build a network pipeline for sponsorhip, empower women and ultimately create a springboard for them to advance themselves professionally. I believe establishing these coaching circles for women rank right up there with those mandatory performance reviews and should be at the core of every organization’s professional development curriculum.

 

Please share your thoughts expanding on this idea for TED and I will add it to the audition plugging you away. Have a jaw dropping idea for TED?  Give it a shot – there’s nothing to lose dear readers. As you know, your Shoe Hostess does not believe in failure. We can only change direction. Wish me luck and I look forward to hearing your comments on this topic actioning change for professional women!

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“You better know that in the end, it’s better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say” - John Mayer, “Say”.

Follow me on Twitter! @InRShoes

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Before I sat down with Ann LeConey today for our interview - the internationally recognized interior designer, I considered all of the questions my readers would want answered to inspire them to continue on in their dream shoes. What I realized shortly into our interview however, was how fortunate I was at this time in my career to have met someone willing to openly share their wisdom in growing a successful business from the ground up, all while raising three boys.

‘You have to have the ambition, dedication and love what you do.’

-Ann LeConey

Stay tuned for my interview with one fabulous lady.  Subscribe here. 

In Our Shoes welcomes working mum Danielle Curzon to our female village. Born and bred a British royal (her father is the noble Viscount Scarsdale), Danielle threw off the cloak of aristocracy and today is pursuing her dream in the UK’s Mixed Martial Arts circuit as Europe’s first televised female referee at UCMMA Cage Rage and juggling it all like the rest of us as a single mom with a two year old daughter.

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No stranger to proving oneself, Danielle was an international titleholder dressage rider, an international champion martial arts competitor, former bodyguard to Emma Watson and other celebrities and survivor of a near fatal pregnancy delivering her healthy baby girl (the one the medical experts said she’d never have).

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IOS: Fighter. Competitor. Proving yourself. Fearless. Danielle, these are the first words that came to mind before sitting down with you for this interview. Am I close or way off base here? 

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Danielle: I’d say that’s all true. I’ve been riding since I was three years old and was taught very early on to push myself. I grew up with a competitive spirit which was encouraged by my dad who yes is the noble Viscount Scarsdale but I do not follow any aristocratic lifestyle whatsoever today. I was an international dressage rider until I reached the age of 21. I won Horse Of The Year Show, Great Britain’s largest show when I was 9 and won over 20 national showing titles (including side saddle, national title) and then went on to represent the UK’s  U21 team. I also competed in America.

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IOS: Is it normal for a young girl that age to be groomed a dressage rider in the UK? 

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Danielle: Yes, horse riding is very much the norm and part of the aristocratic way of life. My parents never forced me to do it however. I enjoyed the competition.  Later on my mum wanted to me to do something else that would allow me to balance my studies at school and I eventually stopped riding.

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IOS: Your parents divorced early on, tell us about that.  

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Danielle: My parents divorced when I was 12 years old. I was really happy about it actually as they were both so unhappy in their marriage. The divorce was a news spectacle. My dad went on to marry a prostitute and my mother married an ex-bank robber! I was the only child and definitely not living a normal life by any stretch. After my parents divorce I learned money doesn’t buy you happiness and wanted nothing to do with the aristocratic life. I was very privileged and lived in a massive home. Today I live in a modest 2 bedroom house and I don’t miss that life whatsoever.

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IOS: What did you do after you stopped riding?

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Danielle: Well, I had started training in martial arts at the age of 12 for self defense. When I quit the horses, I moved martial arts up to my international sport. I fought very competitively and won titles abroad.  Martial arts became my second sport. Today I teach anti-rape self defense classes at a university. So many women suffer this sort of thing. 

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IOS: What is Mixed Maritial Arts?

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Danielle: MMA is a combination of stand up and ground fighting, Tai and Kick boxing. Often people just see fighters in a cage, but learning MMA is something every woman could benefit from.  Alot of it is using the person’s weight against them. I trained in the MMA for 5 years until I was unable to fight competitively due to health problems with my kidneys. So I started working as a bodyguard and became the personal bodyguard to Emma Watson and many other celebrities. I worked the night club doors and was part of the highest qualified security personell in the UK.

 

IOS: You went through a nightmare of a pregnancy. Tell us about it.

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Danielle: Before my daughter Alea was born,  I suffered two miscarriages about a year apart and was told I would never have children due to endometriosis. I then miraculously fell pregnant in 2008 and went through a horrendous pregnancy and after only 6 weeks pregnant, I split with Alea’s father. Then problems with my kidneys started; they failed due to eclampsia.  A condition in which one or more convulsions occur in a pregnant woman suffering from high blood pressure. I became dehydrated.  I was then diagnosed with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD) during my pregnancy. At 24 weeks I lost half of my water. I had to be injected with steroids. My daughter was delivered at 31 weeks by emergency C section and weighed only 2lbs 10oz. After having Alea, I then suffered from post natal depression and kept on anti-depressants which was the worst thing ever. I also had to quit fighting and later went into refereeing which is where I am now reffing the UCMMA (Cage Rage) show at the Troxy in London. It was a big setback for me, being unable to fight competitively again.

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IOS: Tell us about your daughter Alea and the challenges of being a mum.

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Danielle:  Having Alea was absolutely meant to happen for me. She was a miracle really. Alea is Greek for ‘queen’. So far it’s been the terrible two tantrums. When they look at you and do something and misbehave in public!

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IOS: Will you steer Alea towards any particular direction?

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My mom would like her to go to university. I’d like her to decide her own path. I want to offer her as many opportunities as she can have. I’m a vegetarian, but I allow her to eat meat. Until she’s old enough she can decide on her own if she wishes to stop eating it. I would encourage her, if she turns out to be a competitive person. My dad didn’t push me to do the horses, he gave me the opportunity and I loved the competition. He also took me Bunjee jumping when I was 10 years old which I also loved.

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IOS: What is it like mixing with other mums in the UK given your profession? Do you feel like you fit in?

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Danielle: I go on playdates or the local play centers just like any other mum. At first I wasn’t big on telling women I’m a cage referree. Today I don’t care anymore, it’s the skin I’m comfortable in and if someone doesn’t like it, that’s fine too.

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IOS: Did you have a nanny for Alea?

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Danielle: No, I’ve never had a nanny. My mom lives very close by and is helping me raise Alea. I also have my step sister around whom I’m very close to.

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IOS: What made you decide to go back to work after having Alea?.

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Danielle:  The UK make it is less appealing for mothers to go back to work after having children compared to the States. I work 16 hours a week. If I went back to work full time, after weighing out the child care costs I would lose the tax credit. Also, working full time meant not spending enough time with my daughter. It’s not financial viable by the time you do the math. Day care costs 40 pounds a day. It still doesn’t pay.  On the other hand, I cannot be a stay at home mom. I needed to find me as a person again after having Alea. I’m able to do that with my career at MMA which is on weekends.

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It was very difficult at first for me to get the balance of work training and spending time with Alea. My mom would often remind me that I wasn’t spending enough time with her. So I changed my schedule. I’m with her during the week days. It’s a part time job at Cage. I am also a NVQ assessor for security at Oxford University; I screen candidates. I work weekends reffing and the rest of the time I’m with my little girl.

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IOS: What is your view of working mothers in America?

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Danielle: I’m intrigued by them. Americans seem to have a stronger work ethic. The British look up to Americans really. It has crossed my mind many times to move there.  My dream is to make it into the UFC.

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IOS: Tell us about your career at Cage Rage. You’re the first televised female referee for the largest MMA show in the UK. How did that happen?

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Danielle: Reffing for the Cage Rage has been the highlight of my career so far. I had started working in the smaller shows. Then I got a phone call to judge the White Collar UCMMA from fight promoter Dave O’Donnell. From there he said I could referee while I was in the cage. It was a bit of a horrible time for me leading up the next UCMMA Cage Rage because I wasn’t clear on whether they were going to use me permanently. Then I got the phone call that I was a part of the team. All of the guys welcomed me to the family. It meant so much. It was truly a special moment. I have moved up the sky card. The whole of the cage rage welcomed me with open arms. I owe so much to Dave O’Donnell for believing in me and giving me my big break.

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IOS: What do you think when you watch yourself on TV?

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Danielle: When I watch myself, I look to see where I’ve made mistakes. Last night was a big night! I reffed Ben Smith, so I’ll be watching that again.

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IOS: What’s next for you?

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Danielle: My dream is to become a referee in the UFC. I have the greatest respect for Kim Winslow, the first female ref in the UFC. There’s only a handful of women in the MMA, I hope to promote them now that we’ve gotten maximum exposure on Cage Rage. Hopefully that’s what’s next for me.

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IOS: What would you tell people who think you were chosen because of your royal family ties? You would certainly bring lots of media attention to the show.

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Danielle: I have never once told anyone about my nobility. I was kind of embarrassed about it because I didn’t want people thinking I was a snob, especially Dave O’Donnell. Once I was televised however, I thought it’s all going to come out anyway into the mainstream media. Noone guessed that I was from that background. My life story is so bizarre, why would they?

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IOS: What are the challenges of reffing? 

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Danielle: Every referee looks for the safety of the fighters,  knowing when is the correct time to stop the fight: - too early or too late. Getting that balance right,  letting the fighters have a chance to defend themselves and not getting injured. Reffing involves  making sure there are no illegal moves, kicking to the groin, gouging of the eyes. That maternal instinct does kick in when someone is in your care who may not be able to walk out of the cage. I’m still learning and have made mistakes by stopping a fight a little too early or too late.

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IOS: What is the best piece of advice you would give IOS readers who want to go after the dream they’re after?

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Danielle: Persevere and find the right balance. You will find your own way.You’ve got to be happy just as we teach our children. Don’t put your dreams on hold.

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Have a question for Danielle? Reach out and I will be sure your e-mail is answered!

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What I love about Danielle’s story is that although she belongs to royal lineage that could have potentially opened any door for her, in the end it was her fearless spirit that led her to achieving the dream she was after. She walked away from her nobility. She’s also giving back by teaching women how to defend themselves and hopes to break the barrier for women in what traditionally has been a male dominated arena.  Danielle has her sights on America’s UFC, we hope Kim Winslow is listening! Cheering you on Danielle and many thanks to you for sharing your story with us at In Our Shoes. Danielle is currently writing an autobiography. My feeling is that she has quite a few more unwritten chapters to go! I look forward to hearing what’s next.

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Subscribe here.

 Dear readers, it’s here! The Audio replay from the Sabotage Tele-Seminar hosted here on In Our Shoes. See below for your listening pleasure!

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Thanks to everyone who dialed in.  It was yet another empowering conversation on the topic of

How Women Sabotage themselves in Business

Before we start the next work week, I’d like to share a quote from French chef Michel Roux Jr. found in my favorite section of the Guardian: This much I know.

“The chaos of the kitchen is almost peaceful. When I am in the middle of a service, I am so focused. There is nothing else on my mind apart from the food in front of me. ” - Michel Roux Jr.

I’m a big fan of this section. I get high on collecting morsels of wisdom and intriguing facts from people. They don’t need to necessarily be famous. Recently when rushing to catch an early morning flight for business,I had the most fantastic conversation with my taxi driver, soaking in all of his lessons learned as a father while his wife worked full-time escaping the mommy shoes. My morning had started off crazed and yet this semi-retired complete stranger had me hanging on every word.

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When reading the above quote from Chef Michel, it reminded me of the chaos of the working mother’s life juggling the work-life balance thing with shoe swapping success. Running a kitchen is no small feat when you think of all the moving parts involved and the time sensitivity in delivering to hungry clients.  A chef is also one of the few esteemed artist professions given its stable and high income earning potential despite the sharp critic personality prerequisite  - their perfectionist gene.

 

Is chaos essential? I believe it is. It’s the yin and the yang of life. It pushes us. It sets us straight and forces us to consider what we want to do when we grow up.

If you are living a life you don’t love, find your passion; find your CHAOS.

Slip into a new pair of shoes and find what it is that you love to do. A must-have key ingredient á la chef Michel just in case you aren’t sure: 

you must be knee deep in chaos, loving every minute of it.

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Pssst, Chef Michel runs one of the few restaurants (Le Gavroche in London serving classical French fare) that mentors students straight out of culinary school. Sound familiar readers? One more reason we have fallen for you here Chef Michel. You are a man who believes in starting from the ground up to inspire people in their career - true In Our Shoes spirit. Read the full interview on “This much I know” from Chef Michel Roux Jr.

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If that doesn’ t move you, here’s a little inspiration from your Shoe Hostess and her budding little chef (someone needs to do the cooking around here!)  Don’t fight it dear readers, chaos is in fact very essential  indeed!

 

 

In Our Shoes is seeking interviews with women in careers traditionally reserved for men. If you know of an inspiring woman chef , we would love to meet her! Location is never an issue – US or Europe.

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“We’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy” - Seal: “Crazy”

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Have you spread the word and subscribed to In Our Shoes?

Companion “First Footprint” from In Our Shoes column in Here is the City News.

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This summer In Our Shoes delivers an empowering seminar program for women offered in New York and London: the “Dream Shoe” Seminar!

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I leave you here with the first of a 5 part free audio series unveiling the:

 

5 Footprints which Smart Ambitious Women make when following their Passion in Business!

 

Play- 17 minutes

 

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Interviewing successful women entrepreneurs and consulting with women who have worked in corporate most of their career lives or who have stepped out of the workplace for a few years after having children and wish to re-enter, inspired this Dream Shoe seminar last year, addressing the below questions I am asked all of the time as they are considering the next stage of their careers.  Share your story in the following pre-seminar registration Profile Sheet and then explore what the Dream Shoe Seminar is all about. We hope to meet you in person! In the meantime, enjoy these 5 footprints of what working women really want out of life: to follow a career they are passionate about!

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• Am I good enough? I’ve worked in corporate my whole life, dream shoes are just that – a big dream.
• How can I reinvent myself pursuing a career I love when I have only worked for other people?
• I have no official employment experience on paper, only an interest in XYZ business, how can I transition to a new career?
• I am a single parent and main breadwinner, how can I take a risk and start something new?

These questions and more will be addressed in this 5 part seminar and serve as a preview of the in-person Dream Shoe Seminar made available this year. I hope you enjoy this First Footprint sound byte and return back for more inspiring solutions to jumpstart you to the next stage of your career!

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Place your comments and questions below. We can follow up with a tele-conference seminar again where we can continue the conversation on how Smart Ambitious women follow their Passions in Business!

Psssst, have you subscribed to In Our Shoes? Media share buttons sit below for you to pass it on!

 

I’m a big believer that the positive energy between people is intentional and something which we attract precisely when we need that extra umppphh in our lives. I immediately felt a connection towards Jeanne Peterson when we met in her London office last November. She emitted that hit-the-ground-running energy which any working woman recognizes only too well. You know the kind where we’re buzzing about our business with a killer smile that speaks: “Small talk over, let’s get to work!”  I had found a little bit of Manhattan in this woman and I was lovin’ it.  

 

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Jeanne Peterson has broken all barriers when it comes to realizing the personal and professional life she wanted. Read on for her powerful interview where she dishes on how

hitting the glass ceiling early on in her career ignited her to “throw away the paradigm“

and start living by her own rules. You’ll learn how she hopped a flight twice from her home in Denmark to London to interview for a position at global IT consulting firm Project Brokers that didn’t exist, reversed roles with her husband and morphed into the sole breadwinner for her family.  On a mission, Jeanne wanted to move from Europe and live in Toronto near her parents. One year later, she’s now opening up her new office in Canada.  Her career should be a case study highlighting that not just academics can get us to where we want to be, but also an

unyielding dogged faith in yourself when the voices in your head scream self-doubt.

My favorite quote from our interview: “Women can and do achieve much more than men. They are always more open to ideas”. Without further ado here’s the

inspiring interview with working mum of two, Jeanne Peterson.

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Subscribe here to In Our Shoes.

 While nothing can beat the surreal experience of slumbering in a British royal castle on camera, I must say being a part of   Meetup.com’s movie was just as fabulous. I loved the energy and creative vibe of this media village.

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  <<< ——- Entering Meetup’s global headquarters in NYC.

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It felt a little strange being on  the other  side of the table answering questions about my writer’s life. I’ve become quite used to doing the driving around here! Airs in January, excited about In Our Shoes getting some more “air time” in the media!

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 Tomorrow, stay tuned for my:

 ”Sexy Soft Skills” for career success (goes for gents as well)! 

.  Subscribe here  

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There are some women whom I’ll meet only once, yet find they’ve left a large enough footprint behind to have me thinking: “Hmmm…I want to follow her!”. This was just what crossed my mind as I waited for Chinthani Perera-Lunemann (Chini) this summer in an Upper West Side Irish pub which we had selected for our interview.

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Let’s just say Chini’s the kind of gal who will sit you down on first meet and dive in with: “Now listen here…!” whilst waving a waitress down for a glass of wine before kicking the conversation up a notch. UK mom of twin 6 year old boys whom she almost lost to TTTS (Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome), Chini shared the nightmare she and her husband faced when fighting for their babies’ survival while in utero. I had never heard of this syndrome before, yet I thought if anyone could get through that ordeal, this was the woman the universe would choose to overcome it – she was a survivor.

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Today Chinthani Perera-Lunemann (Chini) is an assertive advocate of and partner with TAMBA – Twins and Multiple Births Association located in the UK. She has kicked off fundraisers and generously donated her time to the cause by making it her mission to support mothers around the world suffering through this high risk pregnancy. Hearing her story, I was floored by how this exotic petite and incredibly magnetic personality held two fetuses leaning on her spine for many months (forget the big belly, pregnancy is all about back problems), braved every pregnant woman’s worst nightmare (baby complications) and spun it around to become the successful work at home mom she is today. What started as a charitable hobby turned into far more than she ever imagined.

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Ladies, I introduce you to an empowering woman: Chinthani Perera-Lunemann founder of Manhattan based Mom to Moms Advisors - who is placing trusted childcare specializing in multiple births inside homes of families across continents (North America, the Middle East, Europe and Australia).

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Originally from Sri Lanka, Chini proudly shared her country owned the world’s first female Prime Minister. I thought: “Now this is what women are made of, sharing eachother’s success stories.“; I loved that she opened with this inspiring female tidbit.

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How do you manage to work from home with twin 6 year old boys?!

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I may work from home, but I keep office hours. I choose which days I want to work and set the clock boundaries (10 to 4) no matter what. I also fit my schedule around their activities. I work many early mornings, waking up before them as well as nights and squeeze in as much time as possible when they’re in school. When the boys are home and try to pull me away, I remind them “Mommy is not your playmate!”. I teach them to play independently; One day this will make a difference when they’re older.

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Did you have any experience in childcare before launching Mom to Moms Advisors?

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Growing up, my family has always been surrounded with nannies and domestic help from butlers and chauffers, to grounds keepers. I myself had a British nanny when I had my boys and have always been the go-to person for friends looking for trusted caregivers and advice when selecting a nanny. Professionally speaking I worked in a completely separate field as a financial executive in the investment banking world while in the UK.

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What started out as a natural desire to support other women, turned into something I could work at professionally. Had I not had my boys and been through TTTS while carrying them, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Today 90 % of my clients have twins. I always say it all started with my twins!

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How did you market yourself when launching Mom to Moms?

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I embraced Social Media, it really does work! I Facebook-ed it, twittered, did Linked In, shared my story by blogging. Skype was and is very big for me. I use it to reach out and network as well as support other moms all the time.

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Tell us, what was your husband’s take on this endeavor when you first started out?

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This was definitely a shift away from what my husband was used to, being raised in Germany, nannies just didn’t exist there. Most of his friends’ wives are very intelligent and had college degrees under their belts. Yet after kids, they all just stopped working. So of course it was natural for us to talk about why I wasn’t following that charted path, especially considering what I had on my plate with the boys and after what we went through back home in London. As in any supportive marriage, we got through it and today he supports me. Together we had faced TTTF, so there was no question of my giveback to the cause which through my many childcare referrals later led to the start of Mom to Mom’s Advisors.

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Tell us about your friendships and how you make time for a social life living in New York’s ‘Concrete Jungle’.

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If you want the time, you make the time. I have dinner parties, I love cooking and wearing my domestic shoes; I”ll often throw mom’s night-in soirees and try to glam it up a little. One piece of advice my mother always reminded me of while growing up: “Keep up your friendships! Don’t ever let them go.” and to this day I never have.

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Is there any woman role model that you admire today?

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You know I wasn’t raised with many women role models. My father and his brothers were always the strong figures in my life. However today, I’d absolutely choose Hillary Clinton. Now there’s a woman who looked beyond the trees and saw the bigger picture. She stuck through her marriage because she knew that as a partnership they would go further despite the stigma of her husband’s infidelity. It took a lot of guts to do that.

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Key words of wisdom for In Our Shoes readers?

Surround yourself with people who believe in you. The attractive force and energy is astonishing. Follow your passion and find a way to make it work. Hire help. Challenge yourself. Work from home in the evenings and absolutely designate your office hours!

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How do you make time for your marriage?

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My husband and I date every week! Thursday nights is our time to get out, away from the kids and check in with eachother. Absolutely essential for working parents.

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You’ve now got Donald Trump’s attention. He’s given you space to hold your upcoming Manhattan event! Tell us about it.

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Yes , I’m very excited about this opportunity. It’s a free event for expectant moms in Manhattan where I’ll have a panel of my trusted experts there to talk about that “Fourth Trimester”, what my agency brings to the table and overall empowering new parents, especially those with multiples on the way!

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If you live or work in Manhattan, here’s where you can meet this successful work mom and ask your questions even if you’re not anywhere close to pregnancy! Details below – I’ll be there covering the event!

 

 

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July 4th weekend. The year has reached its midmark. I enjoyed colorful fireworks dazzling me with their sparkle, dusting me with their magical brilliance. (Tinkerbell is big in my house).  I can’t help but feel that this is the season for resolutions, not summer soirees; Looking up at the sky, I consider if I’ve committed to my Jan. 1st promises. Are they even slightly underway?  Am I at least 50% there? Now I’m prorating this out.

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Tomorrow in the office, the single and parentless will ask the obligatory: “So, how did you enjoy the long weekend?”. I’ll probably respond with my obligatory fib: ”It was fabulous. Kicked back, lots of me time.”.  One day I’ll stop doing this. Sometimes it really is easier to agree with everything – it’s an office timesaver..

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Truth be told? Long holiday weekends are no relaxing hiatus for this working mama. I suddenly envy the stay at home moms who keep that ”summer place”. School is out and I breathe a sigh of relief because I’m not on homework duty anymore, but at least that workshift kept me in one physical location. Summer, on the other hand leaves me physically exhausted running around in the race to visit everything the warm weather craze bestows: aquariums and boardwalks and beaches oh my.

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Yesterday, I rushed to the public spray ground, then the next door play ground to air dry my kids because in my mad mommy rush I forgot to bring towels, not like the other proactive parents shrouding their kids with their fluffed egyptian cottons. .

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With several deadlines looming on all fronts – a speaking engagement coming up in Boston, an unwritten project plan for a project I’ve committed to weeks ago, some meets with other writers, two interviews, my mind races as to how I’ll make the cut.  I take a breath…….then another…….still another. I wish I’d paid attention to all of that well meaning advice on the positive effects of meditation.

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But (that’s with a capital B). I’ll make it, because I have to. Some things are non-negotiable.  My sister has just left for the long drive back home. I say bye-bye to my favorite baby sitter deserting me with a wave as she backs out of my driveway. My children’s father had not been feeling well and I’m once more burning all cylinders solo. Sacrifice has now spilled over into working on national holiday time. Do I bite my lip in frustration? All of the time.

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Is juggling it all still worth it? You betcha, because one day (you will feel it) this will all pay off.

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Do what you love at any price.

 In Our Shoes extends a warm welcome to working mom Debra Farber, a six time marathoner, breast cancer survivor and founder of Fit-2-Run, a growing fitness training and running company she kicked off just two years ago in her hometown of Short Hills, NJ. A few minutes into my interview, I soon learned that Debra delivers far more than just fitness regimens to her women clientele. As they follow her lead, Debra breathes life into her clients’ lives by motivating real change. Read on for her inspirational story.

 

You have been an avid athlete since college, yet only recently have you begun a fitness career.

 

Why now?

True, however after college I’ve always held jobs within the health care industry. Before I started Fit-2-Run I was on a successful career track in pharmaceutical sales working in New York City. Then in May 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At that time I reached what I would best describe as an abyss. I realized life was too short. I was unhappy in my career and letting too much quality time slip away from family. So I picked up and left Corporate America a few months later to pursue a dream I’ve always had on the backburner: to run my own fitness business. Like most moms beginning to grow a family, I needed to do something which offered me flexibility so I can be with my two children; spending more time with them, then 4 and 5 years old, was always at the forefront for me.

 

 

How are you feeling now, two years after your diagnosis?

I consider myself blessed. The cancer was caught early on. I had surgery followed by the necessary radiation and am now undergoing heavy screening. Fortunately, my condition was not in the advanced stage. My diagnosis has made a huge impact on my life. It’s been quite a journey.

 

 

Financially speaking, what would you say to someone who can’t afford to walk away from the day job they have outgrown?

I do consider myself fortunate, as I was able to walk away from my career in 2009 without financial regret. However, I believe life is a frame of mind. When I was working in the pharmaceutical industry I was putting in too much travel. When I made a clean break, I didn’t care about the money. I knew I was never cut out to be a stay at home mom and so if I was going to work it needed to be something that spoke to me – a passion. I can’t describe the satisfaction I get when I’m able to pick up my kids from school and continue to juggle a business I love.

 

 

How much did exercise contribute to your healing?

It weighed in tremendously. Right after my radiation treatment and after a six year hiatus from running a race, I took on the New York City marathon – 26.2 miles! It was the therapy I so needed. With two kids, running a business, keeping the cancer at bay, I don’t have time to be tired. If one day I am feeling tired, it is what it is. You become a salmon swimming upstream. You just do it, that’s it.

 

 

Tell us about your business Fit-2-Run.

I started Fit-2-Run to train and coach those who have a fitness goal in mind and you’ll find that this is unique in everyone. Mine is a very grass roots kind of business. I’m contacted by women who have never run before and others who want to train for a marathon. Some of my clients are busy working moms who need their running fix right before heading into the office. Others are new moms who crave their former bodies back. Some are even veteran runners who literally just need to get back on the track again.

 

 

How do you manage so many different client objectives?

I keep to a structured schedule based on individual goals.

For Post Natal fitness, I’ll host group workouts focusing on core conditioning, increasing strength and flexibility utilizing weights, bands and balls.

For the marathoners we’ll usually go out together where I’ll do individual training for all race distances depending on their comfort level.

Twice a week, I’ll hold running groups with different runs consisting of speed work, hill repeats, long runs and tempo runs.

For the working women, I developed a 30 minute express workout beginning at dawn, which works well right before their needing to jumpstart their morning commute.

 

 

Where do you normally hold your fitness training?

One of the things I love about my business is that I’m able to take my clients anywhere that works for them. I like to sit down and meet my clients for a cup of coffee where I can learn what it is that they’re trying to accomplish. If they like to be outdoors for example, I’ll take them on a hike or to the track. Some prefer a one-on-one workout where they’ll set up a space in their home. It all depends on what works best for the individual. I love the variety and my clients appreciate the flexibility, so it’s a win-win.

For my classes I’ll rent space in a dance studio. This morning I just did a group run and I’m still reeling from the rush where I can kick back on a bench and share what I have created for myself, especially now in the budding Spring season.

 

 

Do you also train men, or is your business exclusively geared towards women?

When starting out I didn’t set out to target only women, but so far they are the clients I’ve most attracted. It’s empowering to see networks building among these women from my classes. In my sessions, I try to match up similar runners to train together thereby motivating one another. Running becomes a springboard for achievement in your life and is a huge outlet for all of us. I have always run for my own enjoyment, but with my business it’s been far more rewarding and therapeutic than I could imagine.

 

 

When first starting out, how did you attract clients?

I started out very bare bones. I first posted flyers around town. I did have business cards made initially, but I have to say the local word spread quicker than the newer methods: business cards, web sites, marketing. Today, I do have those things in place to keep my business growing but I guess you never know what will cause that initial spark until you try different avenues.

It was thrilling to learn that there was a market out there where people were looking for someone like me to get them on the right track towards their fitness goals.

 

 

Where do you see your business in the future?

The next step for me is branching out into kids’ fitness, teaching them the importance of exercise and introducing them to sports specific training. I’ve had much interest from moms who have children already involved in sports. For some, they’re on the track team looking for focused training. There are the high school teens who want to train to run cross country. And then there are those kids on the opposite spectrum who may not be into sports but their parents want them to give it a try.

 

 

What challenges do you face regularly?

The most challenging aspect of my busy routine is managing my kids schedule alongside my business. I try to schedule my training early mornings, mid afternoons and weekend mornings. I generally try to steer clear from booking any evening sessions because it doesn’t lend itself to my children’s schedule.

I’ve also been struggling with the question of how quickly do I want to expand? The opportunities are there, I need to decide how I want to take them on.

 

 

How do you manage meals for your family?

I’m a mother like anyone else. I manage to have simple nutritious meals ready. I’ll sometimes pick up healthy food options from Trader Joe’s or sneak in good protein dishes with brown rice, chicken and pasta.

 

 

What advice would you give to someone who wishes to step into her dream shoes?

One of the best gifts I was given was a journal from two close running friends. They said “this is where you’re going to start writing down your dreams” and it was. I carried it around with me everywhere and wrote down everything I wanted out of my life. It’s a gift I’ll never forget. I would encourage every woman to crystallize their goals by first putting pen to paper!

 

In Our Shoes extends a warm welcome to working mom Debra Farber, a six time marathoner, breast cancer survivor and founder of Fit-2-Run, a growing fitness training and running company she kicked off just two years ago in her hometown of Short Hills, NJ. A few minutes into my interview, I soon learned that Debra delivers far more than just fitness regimens to her women clientele. As they follow her lead, Debra breathes life into her clients’ lives by motivating real change. Read on for her inspirational story.  (more…)

 

In Our Shoes was honored to meet fashion designer Diane Benko, founder of Ke’Koqueta a rapidly growing Intimate Maternity line that has pregnant women embracing their bodies in their fullest form.

 

Benko shares with In Our Shoes that all of her long nights planning, sketching, designing and branding her line have finally paid off; her dream was not just a creative whim of a restless working mom!

 

Read her success story in my interview and learn how a little courage and conviction can keep us strutting down the dream path we too are destined for.

 

Here’s a quick tally of where Ke’Koqueta has made its mark in the maternity circuit and media:

 

• Landed its first major retail contract with Zappos.
• Featured in Body magazine.
• Introduced in Intimate Apparel Business magazine.
• Plugged in Europe’s popular Knickers Blog; the source for new lingerie buzz.
• Picked up by an expanding chain of online retailers, to name a few:
  • www.stellamaternity.com
  • www.euphoriamaternity.com
  • www.josephineslingerie.com
  • www.blisseureka.com
  • www.thepossibilitiesroom.com
• Nominated for the esteemed Contours International Lingerie Award (CILA); a ceremony recognizing designers for their creativity in lingerie and sleepwear.
• Featured in Pregnancy & Newborn magazine.
• Soon to be plugged in American Baby magazine this February 2010.

Today Ke’Koqueta has branched out globally into retail chain stores located in Canada, Panama, Ireland, Africa and Japan. It has also established a Maternity Distribution and Sales presence across all US regions.

 

Read on for the exclusive interview!

The elevator door opened its jaws to admit visitors from the Super Sculpture section. In walked an elderly man with his wife and granddaughter smiling proudly in tow. He gingerly balanced his mini masterpiece, still wet from the last coat of color, on his flattened palms. It was an expertly crafted round café table carrying an assortment of food and a pair of goblets. Hugging it were two ornate “magic marker” painted chairs. The figures stood squarely on a small piece of cardboard that supported them.

 

My four year old daughter and I were mesmerized by the craftsmanship and patience that no doubt went into molding this artwork. I then looked down at the boring round ball I had made with my Magic Mold and wished I had been as creative.

 

We were after all at the Crayola Factory!

 

Nonetheless, my daughter had a fabulous time and I in turn really enjoyed watching her have a fabulous time.

 

Seeing the joy beaming from that family had me question.

 

Don’t we all aspire to carving out a life made out of Magic Mold?

 

Something of our own creation, not given to us or even earned by us because we held the right college degree or were in the right place at the right time?

 

There’s the path we follow because we must in order to pay our bills and raise our families. I get that.

 

Then there’s our other life, the one we really want to create. The one oozing of Magic Mold.

Dream.

     Play.

          Nap.

               Fun.

 

In the old days before marriage, babies and a mortgage (a period I lovingly refer to as when I was free to just be), I could be inspired by an engaging novel, a Broadway show or by attending a poetry reading.
 

Today however, I looked to my son’s crib bumper bedding where these four words were stitched.

 

Oh, how times have changed.
 

As I hovered over, weary from waiting for him to fall asleep, I considered whether I stayed true to any of these wise words encircling him.
 

Napping?
With a newborn and a four year-old, I think I’ve signed away any free pass to take cat naps. I shun the well meaning advice of those experts who whisper: “Nap when your baby naps!” and punt back one question: “But how?!”

Fun?
These days, I get my kicks from long steamy sips of latte while parked in my driveway and listening to jazz music. Whatever works, right?

Play?
Does a trip to the book store count? I nod respectfully to every budding female author whose first novel welcomes me as I step from a revolving door. “You did it sister!”, I silently paid homage.

Dream?
This one is non-negotiable. There isn’t a day which goes by when I’m not planning a return to my European heydays longing to travel again. Yet, just when I’m dreaming of starlit barge rides along the Seine, again I look up and ask the gods: “But how?!”

 

• How can I leave my four year old? She’ll be miserable missing me.
• How can I ask my family to baby-sit when they already juggle all to suit my chosen work life?
• How dare I moan for a getaway when I can’t fit in a play for backyard soccer?
   

 All valid arguments, yet I still hold the line. One day many years from now, I’ll resent my family if I don’t take the down time I so desperately need now when I have the means to do so. As a friend once remarked, “I wish I were one of those mothers that just didn’t care.”

 

I’d like to think that one day, I will be watching my own grandchildren while giving my kids the opportunity to dream too. 

 

Today I remembered the world traveler I wanted to be when I used to be young and restless, all because I was inspired by the bedding in my son’s crib.

Before I became a busy bee mother I used to hear people remark on how children have so much to teach us. I would always nod in agreement, but always left unsure of what this really meant.

 

Kids were always giggling and having fun. Did that teach us how to be happy?

 

Kids certainly had no troubles (unless you consider the occasional outrage at a toy being swiped at the beach). Big people really could learn not to worry so much…

 

Alas, neither of these are what I discovered as the guiding light of children on our adult souls.

 

Children are little helpers of the earth. I have yet to meet a child who doesn’t want to pitch in to assist in some way. Give them a broom and they’ll sweep our floors. Toss over a bowl and spoon and they’ll cook us a feast. Show them your iron (only when it’s off!) and they’ll grab a shirt and erase all of our crinkles.

 

Who knew? Human beings at their purest innocent form strive to act with purpose and if that purpose be for another, well that’s just deliverance to Cold Stone Ice Cream heaven to the heart and soul of a little person.

 

I proclaim no expertise in child psychology, but I believe somewhere along the way, the occasional bitter adults we run into emitting bad karma, were maybe not celebrated enough for their big little deeds as wee ones.

This led me to thinking of my dusty dreamer shoes. Everyone must have a dream. Yet, we don’t hear people buzzing about bragging of their life’s passion and the dozen things they did today to accomplish that aspiration.

 

Dreaming is the easy part. Following through – well that’s a few extra credit chapters in the Dreaming for Dummie’s guide. If it were so simple, the stressful shoes we swap each day would probably not fit so tight anymore because we’re doing what we love!

 

It takes mental strength to keep on track and believe in ourselves; sometimes an unwelcome voice message or a stack of bills we’ve attempted to dismiss, snap us right back to reality and we lose focus.

 

Consider if your favorite person shares one day that they are quitting their day job and need your support to get started on the path to doing what they really love, how would you react? Your child spirit would most likely kick into overdrive and celebrate them as only you know how. If it means making a phone call each week to cheer them on when they’re feeling doubt then so be it-you are there.

 

Now back to earth. No one asks for this much attention even if they are thinking it. Wouldn’t we love a wake up call from the divine each day reminding us of our dreamer shoes to slip into? “Pssst! Look under the bed. Your dream slippers are right over there in the corner!”

 

Even if we have the greatest support system, it still comes down to us. We need to believe in ourselves first and be prepared for a boxing match or two to ward off the thoughts that hold us back.

 

Since infancy we are driven to help one another; today it’s time to be your biggest fan.

 

A book recommend to jumpstart you on the journey: